Many people say your teenage years are the best time of your life. It’s the time when your biggest responsibility is school, and everything feels like a first. First friendships, first love, first heartbreak, and a first real sense of who you are. I remember being twelve and feeling excited just to have “teen” at the end of my age as if it meant I was finally becoming someone.
From middle school to high school, life felt like a series of small, defining moments. Hanging out with friends, being a little cringey and carefree, then slowly growing into someone who experiences deeper emotions. Relationships, loss, healing, and milestones like prom and graduation. And then suddenly, it leads you somewhere new. Over and over again, you start new chapters.
Every year on April 23rd, I turn a new age. It’s always bittersweet. But this year feels different. This year I’m turning twenty.
I know I’m still young, but I’m increasingly aware that I’m growing up. There’s a lingering sadness in realizing I won’t be able to call myself a teenager anymore. It feels like I’m leaving something behind—something I can’t go back to.
There are so many moments from my teenage years that shaped who I am. Some I wish I could redo, and some I wish I could relive forever. It’s strange how both can coexist.
Sometimes it hits me through music. I’ll hear a song tied to a specific age, and I remember what it felt like to live in that moment, to actually be that age. Songs like Teenage Dream make me think about what it means to feel young and alive, not in a way that makes me want to go backward, but in a way that makes me wonder whether that feeling can stay with me.
Maybe I just want to carry the sense of wonder forward rather than leave it behind with my teenage years.
When I started high school, I spent a lot of time reading, mainly Wattpad stories, because of the COVID-19 shutdown, as everyone had access to computers. During that period, life slowed down, giving me more space to think, imagine, and feel. I read stories about love and growing up, hoping to experience something equally meaningful myself. At that time, I kept hearing the quote from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
It stuck with me. A few years later, my teacher said almost the same thing before my high school graduation. That was when it really started to sink in.
It’s something about watching yourself grow older. Getting closer to the ages you were once so far from. Closer to responsibilities. And responsibilities you don’t know.
Life moves fast, but not always the way people say it does. Sometimes it feels like everything is happening all at once, and other times it feels like nothing is changing at all. There were moments when I was scared, moments when I failed, and moments when I didn’t recognize myself. But there were also moments when I tried again and grew in ways I didn’t think I could.
Looking back, my teenage years weren’t perfect, but they were real. They were full of change, mistakes, and growth. Somehow, all of it led me to who I am now.
And I’m proud of that.
A few years ago, I didn’t know what my life would look like or who I’d become. I still don’t have all the answers, but maybe that’s the point. There’s something beautiful about the unknown.
So maybe turning twenty isn’t something to fear. Maybe it’s something to be curious about. Maybe it’s another chance to grow, to dream, and to become someone new.
Because maybe it was never just about having a “teenage dream.”
Maybe it’s about creating a life where every year feels like one.
Feature image via Snap Spark on Pexels
This really hits. That mix of excitement and sadness about leaving your teen years behind feels so real. Growing up is exciting, but it’s also hard to let go of that chapter—beautifully written.
Thank you. I’m happy to see that this touched someone.