I Want To Be Seen As A Human, Not Just As A Woman

It feels ridiculous for me to admit now, but until college, a part of me didn’t think that sexism was real. I grew up in a household full of strong women, and the men in my life didn’t have a sexist bone in their bodies. 

Admittedly, when I was growing up, I was mostly friends with girls, so I never heard what guys said about women. I’m also a rather intimidating person; my few guy friends wouldn’t dream of saying anything disrespectful.

But now, in college, I know sexism’s real. Unfortunately, I experience sexism every other day. 

I’m in film school, which is male-dominated. My classmates are some of the most opinionated, bold men on the planet, and they’re also surprisingly insecure. 

Recently, I overheard a group of guys talking about my roommate, who’s a cinematography major. She’s incredibly talented, and she works on a set every weekend alongside people who are a few years older than she is. 

These guys commented that my roommate only got a job on these sets because of the “sexy” way that she dresses. The article of clothing they thought was “too sexy?” A tank top that she wore on set. Prior to this incident, I thought that men only made comments like this in movies. 

The worst part was that I know these guys. I worked with these men. They greeted me in the hallways. And now, they have disappointed me. How can anyone undermine someone’s work because of how they dress? 

While I have never had anything that blatantly sexist happen to me, I have still had countless encounters with men that have made me feel inferior. Men have mansplained my job to me and ignored me when I’ve tried to share ideas. At this point, I’ve stopped speaking up because, at this point, it just feels like I’m wasting my breath. I assume that men aren’t going to listen to me before I even interact with them. I know that this mindset doesn’t serve me well, but I can’t help it because I fear men hearing me. If I speak my mind, then I’m a “bitch.”

But if I’m quiet, then I’m nothing, which feels safer.

I’ve watched numerous videos about feminism and the art of being a strong woman. But I don’t want to be seen as a “strong woman.” I just want to be strong, period. I want others to see me as a human, not just as a woman. Why does my gender matter so much? Why do men think that my anatomy defines my personality and capabilities? It doesn’t, and I want the world to recognize that.

I’m going to live unapologetically because if men will always talk about my decisions, then I might as well do what I want. If you just want to be seen as a human instead of as a woman, you’re not alone. Let’s be unapologetically human together.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash