I write this article as a way to document an incident that happened to me and to share it with others. I am a college student. As summer comes to a close, my parents tell me to double-check my college enrollment and get it ready so we can make a payment. I agreed, wanting to be more responsible, so I put aside my fear of responsibility and stopped procrastinating. I opened my laptop to check my enrollment and saw I had never enrolled in my classes in the first place. Instead, I had only scheduled my classes and didn’t enroll in any of them.
Panic began to set in as I realized the mistake I had made.
Since classes were starting in a month, some of them were now full, and I could not enroll in them anymore. Time almost seemed to slow down as the fear set in. Fear of not being able to attend the semester, of disappointing my parents, of making such a huge mistake. How could I forget something so important, yet so simple? Enrollment was only a button press away. The streak of little victories I had built up for myself, for accepting responsibility and fighting back against procrastination, seemed to fall apart around me. For the first time in months, I began to have a panic attack.
Though I was scared, I didn’t let this fear control me.
I wouldn’t allow it to hold me down anymore. Instead, I began to reach out for help—colleagues, family who had attended UMBC, and most importantly, my academic advisor. I asked them what I could do, and even discovered there was a technical error, which didn’t allow me to enroll for a class. With their help, I was able to schedule new classes, saving my semester and fulfilling the credits I needed.
After fixing my mistake, I looked back and was proud of myself.
Though still embarrassed that I forgot to press the enrollment button, I was proud that I was able to rise up against my fear and embarrassment. Despite the floor crumbling beneath me, I managed to find my footing and fix the problem I had made. Most importantly, I sought help.
I wasn’t alone; there were others I could reach out to who not only were happy to help, but were also way more capable than me. People like my advisor, who helped me search for another class to replace the full one, or my family, who calmed me down from my panic attack.
It’s not only perfectly normal to ask for help, but it should be encouraged. Being scared can feel awful. You feel as if you can’t stand on your own two feet anymore, feeling as if everything you’ve worked for is crumbling around you. It’s perfectly reasonable that someone who’s incredibly scared might need some time to recover. However, it is not okay for you to become a victim of that fear. To give up and buckle to that fear. You should never give up, and you should always try pushing past that fear, no matter how long it takes.
Featured image via Nubelson Fernandes on Unsplash
