My story as a survivor began on May 26, 2014, when I was sexually abused by my high school Fire Science instructor. The abuse continued almost daily for nearly a year. Every day of abuse made me fear for my life more and more. But on January 12, 2015, I bravely came forward, taking the first step towards reclaiming my voice and taking back my power.
My instructor continually raped me in the classroom, made disturbing remarks about me in class, and physically abused me during training sessions. He kicked me with steel-toed boots, intentionally interfered with my air supply to injure me, and forced me to do push-ups as punishment until tears filled my eyes. Any time I didn’t obey my instructor or tried to fight back, the abuse worsened. For countless months, I lived in fear for my life — I genuinely didn’t think that I could survive those horrific days.
On January 12, 2015, the local law enforcement agency rushed into the classroom and arrested my abuser. A few moments later, a police officer escorted me off to speak with investigators. I entered a conference room with school staff, law enforcement, and my parents present, but rumors already began swirling around the school. The school failed me — they could have waited until after class to pull me away so that the other students wouldn’t talk.
In front of numerous strangers and my own parents, I shared the graphic details of the abuse that I endured. As I noticed that all eyes were on me, tears quickly filled my eyes, my heart began pounding, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Law enforcement bombarded me with questions that made me doubt my experiences. Unbeknownst to me, that was the first of many statements that officers forced me to give.
The investigation, which lasted for many months, was difficult and painful.
During this time, my school’s staff forced me to stop attending school because they saw me as a “potential threat” to both students and staff. Furthermore, the school banned me from participating in all senior events, despite my academic success and my desire to celebrate the end of my time in high school. To make matters worse, the school’s administration held meetings about their plans for me without me present.
Eventually, the administration decided to allow me to attend school — but with certain restrictions.
I couldn’t attend “regular” classes, had to avoid the hallways during passing periods, couldn’t ride the bus, and needed a chaperone with me for all school events. The school claimed to impose these restrictions on me for “student and staff safety,” but no one considered my safety. Despite the fact that I was an abuse victim, the school treated me like I was a perpetrator.
My new school routine didn’t stop the bullying, ridicule, and threats from students and staff.
Nothing could have prepared me for the horrific experiences I endured in that school building. I received death threats, found notes in my locker with disturbing remarks, and faced continual ridiculing and shaming for the actions that my Fire Safety instructor perpetrated against me. The school didn’t hold anyone accountable for the bullying, which escalated the situation. My school failed to provide me with a safe environment, even though staff witnessed my panic attacks in the office when I felt hopeless and afraid for my safety.
Despite claims that the main campus had security cameras, these cameras mysteriously “failed to operate” when law enforcement tried to find footage of the abuse and bullying that I survived. The investigation also found that the Fire Science building and training site, which the school claimed had cameras, actually had numerous areas without cameras or with disconnected cameras, including during many of the times when I was being raped.
Every day, I had no choice but to attend school in an environment in which I felt threatened, harassed, and alone. Every child deserves to feel safe at school. Schools should be sanctuaries for academic growth, personal development, and healthy relationships. But sadly, my high school experience strayed far from that goal.
My high school’s poor choices significantly affected my case’s outcome.
While the school claimed to value their students’ health and safety, my experience as an abuse survivor suggests otherwise. Instead of taking responsibility for my instructor’s behavior and other students’ reactions to my experience, the school chose to suppress my story, prioritizing their own reputation instead of helping me work through my trauma.
I wish I were the only one with a story like this, but sadly, I’m far from alone. Sexual assault harms students’ health and safety, and schools need to prioritize these needs when they handle on-campus assault cases.
Featured Photo by Meg on Unsplash.
