Millennials are known for being a generation that doesn’t know what love is. We are afraid of commitment and believe that love should come easy. However, we also think that we deserve the world without reciprocating that idea to our significant others. Perhaps it’s because we witnessed our parents getting divorced after being married for decades, which led us to believe that cheating is an acceptable part of our culture. We also fear that being “tied down” to one person will make us miss out on someone better.
I realize this might rub some people the wrong way, but if these five things sound like you, you don’t deserve the love you have in mind. I am not here to hurt your feelings, but I am here to tell you the truth. And the truth hurts sometimes.
1. You’re only in it for yourself.
If your relationship is solely about you and what you want, then love will be difficult to sustain. If you are with your significant other because it’s convenient and easy, then you need to take a step back and reevaluate your choices. If you genuinely care about your partner, you will want them to shine — just like you hope they want you to.
2. You think it should be like in the movies.
The media and entertainment industry have done a great job of depicting relationships that don’t exist. But we have to remember that the romances we see on our screens are not real life; it’s acting. No relationship is perfect. Being showered with flowers and materialistic objects doesn’t happen daily, nor should you expect it to. It’s not meant to be blissful all the time. Relationships are amazing, but they require work. They won’t just magically happen if you aren’t willing to roll up your sleeves and put in the effort.
3. You’re not invested in your significant other.
If you don’t care about your significant other’s life, then you aren’t invested in them. Do you pay attention to their dreams and goals? Their career, education, and mental as well as physical health? You should genuinely encourage your significant other and support them in the endeavors that are important to them. You want to succeed, and you should want the same for them. Also, strive to be their biggest supporter and advocate. Things that are important to them should be equally as important to you.
4. You’re not willing to compromise.
If you think you need to win an argument or be the one with the upper hand, you don’t understand what relationships are really about. When you’re in a relationship with someone, you’re a team. If one of you falls, you both fall. If one of you wins, you both do. At times, it may feel like you are against each other, but don’t let yourself begin to believe that you need to win an argument with your significant other for the sake of winning. If that’s the mindset you have, then you have a lot of maturing to do. If you aren’t willing to share the hardships and rejoice in the triumphs together, then you aren’t in a relationship with anyone but yourself.
5. You’re not willing to fight for the other person.
These days, when young people are in a so-called “serious” relationship, they will often call it quits at the first sign of a struggle. In reality, all they need to do is attempt to work through the issues. Relationships take work, and you should have the mindset that the two of you can overcome the situation. But, if you give up when things become difficult, how will you ever stick with anything else? Relationships not only teach us how to be with another person, but they also teach us about life. If you love your partner and believe in your relationship, then you fight like hell to protect it. If you find yourself not willing to put in the necessary work to maintain your relationship in the long run, then maybe you aren’t with the right person.
Relationships and love can be complicated, but one simple rule of thumb is that if you truly love the person you are with, you will fight for the relationship you have with them. Nobody said love is easy, but it will always be worth it.