Like with the phrase “I’m done”, the term “trust issues”, is often thrown around freely as if people are unaware of the actual definition. But do people know what having trust issues actually is despite it being frequently said?
Some definitions that may get misdiagnosed as having genuine trust issues include, being really slow at trusting others or having difficulty feeling comfortable around new people. They’re often depicted as partners constantly checking in on each others whereabouts. Or having moments of intense jealousy on social media.
Trust issues within relationships often mean one is unable to be comfortable while being vulnerable with someone else or relying/counting on another person. It’s as though they may feel unsafe or panicked about showing vulnerability in terms of their emotions in front of others.
Think about it; trust issues doesn’t always have to be feeling suspicious of your partners coworker that’s causing conflict within your relationship. It could be about being unable to let your guard down because of this issue. Or being slow in accepting someone wants to be in your life. It’s almost as though jealousy can be blamed for these insecurities or trust issues when in actuality there are so many more layers to be discovered as for why we as humans feel this way.
One huge sign you have true trust issues is not being able to let go and relax while in a relationship. Another is not believing that good things can happen for themselves, especially in the love department. It’s as though the skepticism of romance happening to them is affiliated mentally because of unpredictability and dishonesty.
If you’ve had a rough relationship history full of people who: didn’t treat you well, laughed at you for sharing your emotions, weren’t understanding of what your needs or wants were, made you feel judged or unheard when you actually expressed your emotions or an issue that was seriously affecting you and was made to feel like an idiot for all of these listed above, you absolutely will feel skeptical of love. You may also find you struggle while trying to move along during the ‘get to know you’ stage. It’s obvious that you’ve been damaged and as a result you’ve earned trust issues.
The idea of a new relationship might even stress you out on its own before you’ve even met someone yet. The process of dating can cause a lot of panic and stress you never realized it caused you before. This could all trigger your trust issues while entering a new stage of a relationship and cause you to ‘protect’ yourself in the process.
So if you’re finding yourself too cautious about their intentions or assuming the worst—maybe even doubting your new interest or relationship, try to examine your new situation and your past ones. Knowing about your past will help you be informed about your present. There’s nothing to be afraid of when it comes to trust issues. We’ve all experienced them at some points. You deserve the utmost happiness in your life and you will be in a safe place full of support and love eventually with a person you love. It just takes time and a lot of patience, but you will get there.
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