I Wish You Would Try As Hard As I Do In Our Relationship

This is a poem about the woman having to work harder than the man to make the relationship work.  In previous generations, we were expected to let a man make the first move and carry the relationship, but now, times have changed. Men are scared. Men fear rejection. Men look for women to lead them in the relationship.

I always believed that I should never have to work to get a man,

That “the one” would just find me and that would be it.

I always believed that my fairytale was just around the corner,

That “the one” would just sweep me off my feet.


I always dreamt up this man,

Who would come up riding in on a white horse.

A man that would save me from the tower,

And give me no reason to look back.


I had my mind set that the daydream was real,

And that someday it would happen before my eyes.

I had my mind in belief that this is what I was destined for,

And that I had to just wait for the right moment for it to be mine.


So what is it about us,

That makes me push away the fairytales?

What is it about us,

That makes me willing to give up that big dream?


This is real work, work that I didn’t believe,

This is work, you and me.

This is me really trying something I didn’t see,

This is work, trying to make it OK for us to be.


You came in so fast,

And you’re the one that seems like you’re always prepared to leave.

You came out of nowhere,

And yet you have always been in my sight.


It was your approach that caught my eye,

Yet I’m the one who is truly working,

Pushing us forward,

And you’re making me wish that you would try.


What is it that keeps my heart driving back to you?

What is it that keeps you holding on?

What is it that leaves something there unsaid?

What is it that keeps us from coming undone?


We have nothing in common, yet what we have is enough.

It is enough to keep me holding on to something more.

It is enough to keep me rushing back to the thought of you,

It is enough to keep me pursuing something more.


It is hurting me to think that my dream may never be real,

And that this is the life we have come to know.

The woman has to do all the work,

While the man sits idle waiting for her next move.


It is anxiety that keeps me up at night,

Wondering if you will reply,

It isn’t games that you seek,

But it is games that we find.


I have never worked so hard for a man,

And yet I feel so terrified.

I don’t know if this will work,

But at least I know that I have tried.


What if this knight in shining armor doesn’t truly exist?

What if my life was a lie?

What if this is the life that I’m meant to live?

What if this is some game that I’m bound to be denied?


In the end, what if this was never real,

And I was dreaming all along?

What if this was a test,

And I did it all wrong?


It’s a risk I’m willing to take,

To see if you could be the guy.

I will continue to work for you,

But I damn sure wish you would try.

This poem is about the experience of letting go of that dream of Prince Charming coming in and saving you and finding that you have to be a strong woman if you want to make a relationship work.

Photo by Jose Ros Photo on Unsplash


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