Breaking Down BDSM: What It Actually Is & How To Do It

Rough and unusual sex practices have finally made their way into the mainstream in the last five years, all thanks to a little book series and movie franchise called “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Although they’ve become super popular and a little more well known, people are still in the dark and unaware of what exactly it is or how to accomplish it.

BDSM is actually an acronym for Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism and Masochism. But what does all of this mean? Well, prepare to be educated in a very naughty way.

Bondage

Basically it just means being tied up or restrained. This is probably the easiest introduction into the BDSM world or a simple way to switch things up in your sex life. You can start by tying a necktie around wrists or to a headboard.

The more intense you get is where it can become tricky. If done incorrectly (I’m talking more extreme positions like tying wrists to ankles), it can cause a lot of damage. So it is important to learn how to tie properly. Some sex store employees can help you or a lot of places have classes on how to do it correctly.

Discipline

Basically you get to create whatever definition for discipline you want, because it’s different for each person. Some people enjoy being spanked when doing something naughty or being controlled, while others could enjoy verbal discipline (both is usually a great combination, just saying).

What comes with the territory are names and boundaries that people have. Discussing a safe word for when it gets too hard is very important! So is deciding what names are okay. Some don’t like being called a dirty little slut and prefer naughty girl. I can’t emphasize on communication enough when it comes to consensual discipline.

Dominance and Submission

This is another super easy transition into switching up your sex life. In fact, most couples engage in this type of play and aren’t even aware of it. They just do it on a simpler scale. One partner is in total control while the other is on the receiving end of whatever the other is doing them or telling them to do.

It’s a fun game couples can play, if you will, but it’s also largely built on trust and communication. Always communicate what you are about to do before you do it and ensure your partner is okay with it. Consent people, consent!

Sadism and Masochism

This one is a little more uncommon because no one ever talks about it.. The sadist is the one who finds pleasure or enjoyment in inflicting pain on the other (who would be considered the masochist). Think of the final whipping scene from the movie.

Look at choking for example, a lot of guys like doing it because it’s a dominance thing, while some girls absolutely love it because of the dominant act as well. So you both find pleasure in the pain. Like bondage, this can be a little dangerous so you do need to do your research on how to do these things safely!

I wouldn’t necessarily look at porn to get an idea of what all this stuff is because it’s actually fairly unrealistic in some ways (mainly the extreme roughness and lack of verbal consent). Watch the Fifty Shades movies again to get a nicer version and do your research online. It’s fairly easy to start in baby steps and doesn’t need to be done in a red room.

Featured image from weheartit.

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