Even in a world where women are working top jobs and carving their own paths in life solo, there is still so much pressure on us to be “good.” America Ferrera’s monologue in the Barbie movie said it perfectly, “We have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.”
Women are expected to be perfect, but not so perfect that it becomes intimidating to others. We should be beautiful and never age, but we should also never “flaunt” our beauty because then we are too full of ourselves. We shouldn’t dress in ways that society deems inappropriate or else we will be considered bad. We will be asking for it. Our main goals are supposed to be beauty, a perfect household, children, and a satisfied husband. Our own happiness is perpetually missing from that list.
We are expected to do it all and do it all well, while never breaking a sweat or a nail. And most importantly, we should do all of this quietly.
Even now in 2025 when educational and career opportunities are finally open to women, we are seeing an uncomfortable rise in women reverting back to traditional gender roles. The “tradwife” movement has hit social media, and instead of encouraging women to pursue their dreams, we are teaching them they are better off at home. On social media, we’re being shown women living in their husbands’ shadows, and it scares me to think we are going backwards in regards to women’s rights and happiness.
Though this might be the lifestyle that some women want, it is not the lifestyle that should be imposed on everyone. We should all be free to choose the life that suits us best, not the life society wants to box us into. The obsession with women being pure and good is deeply rooted in misogyny, and it consistently puts us in a battle we will never be able to win.
In the workplace, women are still constantly demeaned because of their gender. Our careers are sexualized, which makes it feel like men view our lives as a joke. If women are assertive at work in the same manner men are, we are deemed bitches, while men are praised for their bravery. They expect us to do all of the work for less pay – and to do it all with a smile. They expect us to be “good girls” because they are afraid of what a powerful woman is capable of.
Sexual harassment at work is also something that many women are forced to put up with, often on a daily basis. It doesn’t matter if it’s customers harassing us or our co-workers, we’re mostly made to feel like we should just grin and bear it. “Good girls” don’t cause problems; they just keep their feelings bottled up inside. I’ve dealt with managers waving off blatant sexual harassment because they felt a customer was harmless, even though their employees were uncomfortable and upset. I almost quit the best internship I’ve ever had because of the severity of sexual harassment I was dealing with there. I was ostracized by co-workers for speaking up, while my harassers were simply told to stay away from me. No other disciplinary action was taken, and I just had to continue working like nothing ever happened. Because that’s what “good girls” do.
When it comes to dating, many women are taught that their own pleasure should take a backseat to their partner’s. A “good girl” will make sure her partner is satisfied and will not complain if the same is not being done for her. Sex has long been considered a triumph for men and a sin for women. We’re taught from a young age that a woman who enjoys sex is bad, while men are praised for having higher body counts. “Good girls” don’t sleep around, and they don’t complain when their men do either. So much of what we are taught about sex is about pleasing men, as if women are only there to be used by them. We’re taught to do what our men want, when they want it, if we want to be a “good” partner. But so often our own needs are left unmet, and no one is very concerned about being good to us.
In almost every aspect of our lives, we are made to feel like we should be seen and not heard. We should be the beautiful catch standing by our husband’s side as he is recognized for his success, while our own successes are often overlooked. Our opinions are not always taken seriously, and neither are our dreams. Society tries to make us look weak and emotional, when women are stronger than most people can even imagine. They want us to be quiet because they know how powerful everything we have to say is. They want us to continue being “good” so they can carry on being bad without any repercussions.
Society wants us to shrink because it fears our strength and our power.
Photo by Mathilde Langevin on Unsplash
