The ballots are in. After getting the dirty details from a diverse group, aged late teens to mid thirties, I have ranked the most difficult items of clothing to take off a girl when hooking up.
“I swear I can get it off with one hand. I didn’t realize they have those front ones.”
As a female, it’s always a good idea to wear a bra when going out in public. The societal norm is for perky round boobs which isn’t always how they look if going braless. Yet it seems that there is quite a struggle when others are trying to remove them. With comparisons to a combination lock that you can never twist right, to the struggle even when there is no clasp, it’s clear that no bra is simple. And those bra camis. We might as well take them off ourselves. That extra layer is a trap for hands trying to cop a feel.
2. SKINNY JEANS
“He tried pulling my jeans off from the bottom cuff…he was holding my one leg up near his face…as soon as I lifted my butt to help him out, the one leg of my jeans flew off so fast and he ended up punching himself in the face.”
We can’t win. You want us in tight clothes but complain when taking it off. It’s only fair that if we struggle to put them on, you can struggle to take them off. Often, a pair must work together to remove them and it’s a damper on the mood. Sorry to make you wait for sexy time as you huff and puff your way down our legs.
3. KNEE HIGH BOOTS
“They should always take their own shoes off; that’s a personal responsibility.”
Haven’t you seen Pretty Woman? Boots are key! Giving us the illusion of longer legs and providing warmth in cold months, these shoes are a girl’s best friend. They do require some wiggling, some buttons and zips, but they won’t bite. It’s the first step on the road to hooking up so take a deep breath. Don’t get discouraged. You’ll be rewarded for your efforts soon.
4. DRESSES AND TIGHTS
“Why do the socks or tights or whatever go up so high?”
Looking feminine is what makes getting dolled up so fun. By removing pants from the equation, you’d think there would be three cheers when seeing a dress. But, alas, we have tricked them with the zips and hooks in the back. Plus the tights and pantyhose go up so high on our waists it’s never ending in their eyes. Always reaching up, never feeling skin, what a hard life.
5. COMPLICATED LINGERIE
“Corsets – bras evil cousin.”
It’s important to look cute under our clothes; we can’t help that these things are made with too many nooks and crannies and adhesives. The sticky boobs may seem dangerous, but it’s much like ripping off a band-aid. Leotards and rompers all stretch, so nothing should be too hard to peel away. Imagine how we feel putting our limbs in all those holes. We know it gets you even more hot and bothered, so we take one for the team. Now, just follow the laces and you’ll come to the end that unties, I promise.
Sorry we’re not sorry for being hard to disrobe. You could look at it as one gentleman did and suck it up; “I’m not one to bitch about something when a woman is having sex with me”. But you guys don’t make it super easy either! Sweatshirts always get stuck around the neck when pulling them over your head. What if I choke you out? And your button up shirts; I don’t want to rip it to shreds so each button gets quite tedious. Or those huge belt buckles! This isn’t a rodeo. Leave that at home. Let’s all hold hands and vow to think before dressing for a night on the town. Factor how drunk one might get and how impatient you are to do the dirty, then start putting your layers on.
Featured Image via LastNightsParty.com.