I Have High Standards, But I Don’t Expect My Boyfriend To Pay For My Nails

I saw a TikTok video where a girl said she broke up with her boyfriend of two months because he didn’t pay for her nails. My first thought was, “There’s no way that’s the full story—let me hear her out.” So I stayed to listen to the rest of the video.

The creator explained that she made it clear from the start of their relationship that she was high-maintenance and used to being spoiled. When it was time for her next nail appointment, the boyfriend offered to pay for her nails as a reason to tag along. But on the day of the appointment, he was busy with work and told her to go ahead without him. Naturally, she asked if he still planned to cover the cost, which she said was “only $160” for a mani and pedi. That’s when the boyfriend balked, saying he didn’t realize nails cost that much and wasn’t comfortable paying for them anymore. To the creator, this was a red flag. So, she ended the relationship, explaining that this kind of gesture was something she expected and valued in a partner.

I have so many thoughts on this.

When it comes to dating, I do have high standards. I expect the guy I’m with to be kind, thoughtful, and caring—to treat me with respect and be a gentleman. I love the idea of him opening doors for me, giving me flowers every now and then, and making me feel protected. And yes, I’d like him to cover the bill most of the time. These are the kind of gestures that, to me, show genuine care and romantic interest.

But here’s the thing: I don’t believe in expecting a guy to pay for materialistic things, like my nails, hair, or lashes. Those are things I do for myself because I enjoy them, and they make me feel good. They’re not something I need someone else to cover for me. I work hard for my money, and part of that is so I can treat myself when I want to. Would it be sweet if my boyfriend occasionally offered to pay for my nails as a thoughtful gesture? Absolutely. But I would never expect or demand that he does it, especially not every time. And if we’re talking $160 a trip; that’s a big ask for anyone!

Maybe it’s just how I was raised, but I don’t expect anything from anyone.

If I go out with friends, and someone offers to cover my meal, I still bring money just in case. You never know what could happen, so it’s important to be prepared. I don’t think it’s fair—or healthy—to rely on someone else to fund the things you can and should pay for yourself.

Now, back to the video. The creator said it’s “normal” for a boyfriend to pay for his girlfriend’s nails, and that anything less means settling. I don’t agree. I’d love for my boyfriend to pay for my nails because he wants to—not because he feels like he has to. And every time he did, I’d genuinely appreciate it. But I don’t think expecting that level of financial obligation demonstrates high standards. To me, high standards mean knowing what you want in a partner on a deeper level—someone who loves, supports, and cares for you in meaningful ways—not someone who simply shells out money for your beauty routines.

When I scrolled through the comments, I was shocked.

So many people sided with the creator, saying things like, “If he’s not spending the money on you, he’s spending it on someone else.” Look, I’m all for supporting other women, but let’s be real. If my boyfriend says he can’t afford to pay for my nails, I’m not going to assume he’s hiding money or spending it on another girl. People have budgets, bills, and responsibilities. And relationships should be about understanding and supporting each other—not just what you can get out of it.

At the end of the day, a relationship should be about mutual care and effort. Sure, you can splurge on each other when it feels right, but it’s not fair to place financial expectations on your partner for things you can do yourself. I’m not going to break up with someone because they didn’t pay for my nails. For me, that’s not the hill to die on. I’d rather be with someone who shows me love and respect in ways that truly matter.

Featured image via Onur Çeçen on Pexels