Find The People Who Grow Flowers In The Darkest Parts Of You

I’ve been on TikTok recently, and a song that kept appearing on my FYP is “Sun to Me” by Zach Bryan. I added it to my Spotify playlist and completely fell in love with it. The song is about a man singing to his partner, who is like sunshine to him. She makes life better and brighter; she is his sun.

When I first heard it, all I could think was that I hoped someone would view me this way one day. And I think that’s something we all want. Not only to have someone who makes you feel that way, but also to be that person for someone else. There is something so beautiful about the idea of being someone’s light, and equally beautiful about having someone who is yours.

As the song continued, I came across a lyric that stopped me in my tracks, and I have not been able to stop thinking about it since.

And I remember being younger, and my mother told me the truth. Find someone who grows flowers in the darkest parts of you.

I have never connected with a song lyric so deeply in my life. We all deserve someone who brings a little light to the darkest parts of us. Someone who doesn’t run when things get heavy, but instead kneels and plants something beautiful right in the middle of it.

Now, Zach sings this from a romantic point of view, and yes, absolutely, the person you end up with should do this for you. That is non-negotiable. This isn’t something one person should be held responsible for. I think we all need people in our lives, plural, who can do this for us.

Because finding someone who grows flowers in your darkness is not exclusive to romance, it is found in friendship. 

It is found in the people who show up without being asked, who see past the mask you wear when you are not okay and show up for you anyway. The ones who do not judge you for your darkness or make you feel like you are too much for feeling it. The ones who sit with you in it, quietly, without trying to fix it, just making sure you know you are not alone.

It is the people who make you close your eyes and smile right after you have sobbed your eyes out. The ones who stay when you do not want to talk, even though they know you need someone in the room. The people who make you look up mid-cry, tears still on your face, and ask, “Why are you doing this for me?” And without missing a beat, they say, “Because you deserve it.”

Those people are rare. And when you find them, in whatever form they come in, you hold onto them. Not everyone is willing to sit in someone else’s darkness. It takes a certain kind of love, the kind that is not afraid of the hard, heavy, messy parts of a person, to grow something in that space.

I think we spend so much time searching for that in a relationship that we sometimes overlook the people already in our lives who are quietly doing exactly that. 

The friend who checks in after a hard week. The person who remembers something you mentioned once and follows up on it. The one who shows up with food and asks no questions. Those people are growing flowers in your darkness, too, and they deserve recognition for it.

So yes, find the person who grows flowers in the darkest parts of you, romantically. Hold out for that because you deserve it, and do not settle for anything less.

But also, look around you. Find the people who are already doing it. The ones who have been in the garden this whole time, tending to the parts of you that you sometimes forget are worth tending.

And when you find them, in whatever form they take, do not let them go.

Featured image via RDNE Stock project on Pexels