So many people tell women what they should and shouldn’t do when it comes to living life, and most of the time, it’s nonsense. There are no “rules” to living life as a woman. Rather, there are things we can do to love ourselves more and live a more fulfilling life. Here are 10 ways you can start living out your womanhood fully:
1. Wear makeup if you feel like it (or don’t).
Forget the discourse of men telling you that you look “prettier” without makeup or should wear more makeup. Put on lipstick; don’t put on lipstick. Wear eyeliner one day and don’t wear it the next. Go a month wearing mascara and then stop if you don’t feel like it anymore. As long as you feel pretty, or just plain comfortable in your skin, that’s all that matters.
2. Dress however the heck you want.
Feel like wearing a dress? Throw it on. In the mood for a tuxedo? Put it on. Clothing has no gender, and there’s no right or wrong way to wear clothes. (Unless you wear them inside-out, but even then it’s not wrong). Woman can wear whatever the heck they want, and they should wear what they feel comfortable in.
3. Rock your natural hair.
Just because we see straight hair idealized in movies and television doesn’t mean it’s the only kind of “pretty” hair. It’s certainly not the “good” kind of hair, because all hair is good hair. And if you’re bald, that’s an awesome look (especially not having to worry about taking care of it!) As a woman, you don’t need to “look” any way other than how you are.
4. Love your skin.
Racism says that whiteness is “better” than Blackness and darker skin, especially if you’re a woman. But you don’t need to look like the white people around you. Your skin is beautiful. Race is a social construct yet it’s treated as real with real-world consequences. But people are wrong. Shut them down if you have to. Don’t ever let anyone tell you your skin isn’t beautiful because of your color, because that’s a lie. Beauty is relative, after all.
5. Ignore diet culture.
Your body is incredible, and it’s great to do your best to take care of it, but that doesn’t mean it should look a certain way. Bodies come in all forms and sizes. Just because magazines perpetuate our idealized idea of the “perfect” body doesn’t mean it exists—because it doesn’t. Being a thin woman does not equal being healthy, and being fat doesn’t equal being unhealthy. Do what you can to take care of your body, but don’t micro-analyze it. It’s a part of you, yes, but it’s not more important than the rest of you.
6. Embrace your sexuality.
People are uncomfortable when women are sexually liberated in the way that’s been typical in men, which is pure hypocrisy. Everyone owns their sexuality and should not feel ashamed for who they are, nor how they express it. Don’t be ashamed of your sexual feelings, or if you don’t have those feelings. Learn to embrace your sexuality for what it is–just one of the many aspects that make you who you are.
7. Only smile if you want to.
Too often, men tell women too smile all the time, and we’re sick of it. Everyone has bad days. Everyone’s in a grumpy mood at some point in their life. And some of us just don’t feel like smiling. Don’t feel like you need to appear happy all the time in your life, because you don’t. Humans experience various emotions throughout the day, which means we don’t feel like smiling all the time. And that’s more than okay.
8. Be a bitch.
Women get called bitches when they “act” like men, which is usually just being assertive. There’s nothing wrong with respecting yourself, standing up for yourself, and voicing your opinions. Humans are multifaceted creatures, and to ask women to act docile and submissive all the time is simply unrealistic.
9. Let yourself get angry.
Feminists have every right to be angry. As women, we’re oppressed in our day-to-day lives, and even when we make progress, there’s still so much inequity to tackle in the world. So be angry. Use your voice in the way that you can, and participate in causes that matter to you.
10. Be yourself.
This may sound cheesy, but there’s a reason it’s a saying: you can’t be anyone but yourself at the end of the day. Don’t do what other people want you to do, or try to act like someone you’re not. Instead, do what makes you happy and brings you fulfillment in life. As long as you’re living your life and not hurting anyone, it doesn’t matter what you do.
If there are any “rules” to womanhood that I’m following, it’s the ones mentioned above—especially the last one. Most of us are trying our best and doing what we can, and that’s more than enough. You’re more than enough.
Photo by Aditya Saxena on Unsplash
