Ah, casual sex. One of my favorite controversial topics to discuss. I own my sexuality and embrace it proudly. As a result, I’m quite familiar with having casual sex. I want to share my story about having success in that regard, hoping to encourage other women to do the same. I’ve always loved my sexual journey through my twenties and have no plans on stopping anytime soon.
At this point in my life, I view previous hookups as lessons or sexual opportunities. That outlook has turned a few of my regrettable experiences into decent ones. Sure, I’ve had my fair share of hookups that left me feeling useless and worthless — we all have, even with romantic partners. But dwelling on those experiences only makes things worse, so I choose to remain positive and focus on the good ones.
For example, if he was selfish, not very complimentary, or insensitive, I know what to be aware of. And if I start getting those vibes from someone, I instantly back off to protect myself. I don’t want someone selfish or unfiltered to the point that he insults me without realizing it. I also don’t want someone who doesn’t treat me with respect. No penis is worth that feeling, ever.
Instead, I try to look for someone who wants steady casual sex but with no real commitment.
They need to be respectful — we both have to express our concerns and get a mature response. If I’m not in the mood or not available, he won’t insult or try to guilt-trip me. Instead, he shoots me a “next time :)” text and gives me good dick when we meet again.
Another important thing is to keep texting to a minimum between dick appointments. Sure, you have to have small-talk; if you don’t, it’s just awkward. So start by getting to know each other and getting comfortable around one another. After the first few encounters, you can slowly decrease your conversations’ frequency and only talk to organize a meetup. Then all you have to do is show up, ride him like the Queen you are, and leave.
Speaking of leaving, I don’t like to stay long because it poses a threat of attachment.
I’ll admit, I love having sex. But in the past, I have gotten too attached to my FWB and ultimately ruined what we had. So I make an effort to minimize the chances of catching feelings unless I see a potential for something serious.
By allowing the distance between me and whoever I’m sleeping with, I prevent emotions from developing. There’s no confusion regarding where you stand in their life. There’s no jealousy or expectations. As long as there’s a healthy communication level between the two of you, you both live your lives separately.
I try to have a variety of different hookup experiences.
And what I mean by that is that I find men with whom I can have different kinds of sex to satisfy my needs and explore new kinks. Hence, I suggest that anyone looking for optimal sexual experiences does the same. It works wonders and helps you learn what you like and need in bed.
I’ve been with a kinky guy just to get those urges out of my system with no judgment. I’ve been with a guy for intimate sex that I can call up when I need a little bit of comfort or something different. And I’ve also been with a guy (more like a sexual mentor) who I sleep with when I want to explore something new and different. I even have an anal guy who helps me scratch that itch once in a blue moon. The point is that I’ve had my lineup of guys to help me satisfy all my needs when I crave them. Some were long-lasting relations, while others were occasional flings.
And in case you’re wondering, no — I don’t have one-night stands. I go through phases where I sleep with someone semi-consistently and switch it up depending on life circumstances. And yes, I am always using protection. That’s extremely important!
Label me a slut if you want to, but I’ve lived a very sexually fulfilling life because of this mentality. I’m confident in what I like in bed, know how to express it to my partners, and I’m not afraid of rejection when things come to an end. I know how to move onto the next one and prepare for a wild ride!
Featured image via Dainis Graveris on Pexels