“I love you. And because I love you, you will get $100,000 worth of advice for the mediocre price of this book.”
That’s one hell of a statement, I thought to myself reading her book I’m fine..and other lies. Like with all things in my life, I was skeptical to the core when I first bought it. But somehow, the title and the author captured my attention. I mean, how can you not love Whitney Cummings? Even her last name made me laugh.
“I’m fine” is a phrase I probably said over a billion times and one that was always one complete and utter lie. I literally found myself thinking that my nose would reach the other side of the world because I said it so many times.
So, I got the book as a source of entertainment, and to keep me busy during my one too many days of insomnia.
Yet, what I didn’t expect was this book to legitimately changed my life and gain perspective on the struggles I share, or once shared with the author herself, all while laughing and crying at the same time. Sometimes even in public, followed by a series of strange looks from strangers. If it wasn’t for social media I am certain a concerned citizen would have long placed me in some kind of mental institution.
I wouldn’t blame you for thinking this is some kind of promotional strategy to get you to read this book. I mean we’ve just passed the holidays, a time where ads are thrown at you faster than baseballs.
But from one millennial to another, from all the shitty self-help books I have read to the countless of Wikipedia searched advice I have researched during my short period of time on this planet, nothing has come close to the realizations I made while reading her book. So rather than some sort of promotional stunt, what I am about to share you is more like a public outcry, one that I strongly believe is necessary for our society. And one that will make the slogan “New Year, New You” become a reality.
Because regardless of what your Instagram feed may not disclose, nobody is perfect. In fact, we’re far from it. From eating disorders, co-dependency, self-help or even freezing your eggs, there is so much that is just not talked about but kept stuffed in a closet waiting to come out.
It is the fact that we, as a society, feel the need to tiptoe around other people’s needs (imaginary or real) while completely forgetting our own. It is the fact that crying has become a sign of weakness, instead of strength, leaving so many of us bottling up every emotion until one random act can shake us up like a carbonated bottle ready to explode.
It is the fact that we are way too concerned with sayings like “man up” that men become utterly oblivious to expressing any form of emotion.
So instead of fearing to fail, staying in terrible relationships way too long, comparing yourself to others and getting sucked away in our egos, why don’t we try to self-actualize this year? Why don’t we try to realize that it’s okay not to be the greatest at everything and anything, okay to cancel on plans if you change your mind and okay to stay home instead of going out?
Why don’t we try caring about the 12 pound mass between our shoulders that has the power to change your life? And yes, I am referring to your one and only brain. And yes, it does weigh that much so you can pretend you gained more knowledge over the holidays…
How about practicing the self-care that we need even if the personal struggles of other is much worse than our own.
How about we stop martyring ourselves unnecessarily out of guilt for having any kind of problems.
Or worse, left feeling self-indulgent for even labeling them as problems. Like Whitney, let’s stop “auditioning for love” – something that becomes all that much harder when most of our time is spent with our fingers running marathons on social media.
So, let’s start the new year with the words of the legendary author herself:
“Life is so f*cking short. If there’s something that’s bugging you, get ahead of it now, you can’t outrun it. It doesn’t work. I tried. I promise you it doesn’t work.”
And with that, you may just be telling the truth next time you say “I’m fine.”