Today, I’ll decide to act like you.
I’ll take my sweet ass time to reply to your text messages, I’ll check my Facebook messages before looking at yours, I’ll scroll through Instagram and maybe after a few hours pass, I’ll remember to reply half-heartedly to you. When you call me out, I’ll call you crazy.
I’ll make it a point to like every picture of all the good-looking men I know and be sure to follow pornstars all the while, knowing that there’s a chance you and your friends will see it on your explore pages. I’ll do this so you can see that you’re not the only one hot piece of ass I can give attention to or maybe that you’re not as attractive as you think you are. I’ll make you question how faithful I am to you, and maybe I’ll edge a little unfaithful in the process. I’ll toe the line at acceptability and make you question my every move.
Today, I’ll let it be known that I, too, have other options.
I’ll post things online so that you know I’m on my phone but I’ll ignore your calls and texts, because I want to let you know that you’re not a priority.
I won’t apologize for anything that I do; like ignoring you, or forgetting to pretend to care about your day. I won’t ask what you would like to do, because I honestly don’t care about you. I’m not going to apologize for anything, especially putting myself first because I know you’ll always forgive me.
Today, I’m going to treat you like shit, because I know I can.
I’ll blow you off for my friends, even though we made plans earlier in the week, because I don’t want to spend that much time with you. I’d rather get drunk with my friends than see you, because they won’t care if I talk to another guy behind your back. I’ll intentionally make plans on the same day we’ve had planned for months.
I’ll give you little glimmers of hope so that you can hold on to me hopelessly, but I won’t make any direct promises because I don’t want to give you something that you can later hold against me.
Today, I’m going to talk about myself, about my day, and let you stroke my ego, because that’s all you’re good for.
I’m going to talk about other men, talk about my ex and how I still have a connection with him. I’ll make you feel like you’re not good enough, like you’ll never be good enough. I’ll make you think that you’re not the only man in my life, and I won’t give you any reason to think twice about it.
I’m going to make you go home questioning my intentions, questioning if I care. You’ll read too much into what I’m saying, confused about what I meant when I said this and what I was trying to subliminally tell you when I said that, I will make you stay up all night thinking about me and you’ll soon realize you really don’t know where we stand.
I’m going to go to sleep without saying goodnight because I don’t want to be bothered by you anymore. Hearing the phone ring twice I’ll decline your call and turn my back without thinking twice.
Today, I’ll make you feel like you’re all alone.
I’m going to make you feel like I don’t care about you, because you’re more of a play-thing to me than a person whom I’m supposed to care about. I’m going to make you fall asleep with tears streaming down your face and let them pathetically soak into your pillow.
Tonight, I’m breaking your heart as I rest my head and fall asleep peacefully.
And tomorrow, I’m going to wake up just to do it all over again.