The beginning stages of any relationship are always the hardest. You know you like each other, because of the look you exchange while you both smile simultaneously. But, when you lose that warmth and confidence quickly, it’s probably for one simple reason…You’ve stopped communicating.
Instead of actually talking to each other you run through countless scenarios where you ‘wish’ you’ve said what you wanted to say.
You ‘wish’ you’d spoken your mind. You wish you’d told him not to be so damn cold. You wish you’d told him that sarcasm is your second language. You wish you told him how frustrated you become because you cannot read his mind. You wish you told him how “judged” you feel when you’re around him. You wish, You wish, You wish, You wish…But that’s the thing; you wish.
You wish you would have told him all of these things. You wish you told him how you felt. You wish you didn’t mask it like you always do. You wish you’d spoken your mind. And, for all of you whose outer character doesn’t come close to how you actually feel inside (let’s face it, you wouldn’t be reading my words otherwise!), I want you to start speaking up.
Love is messy. Love is confusing. Love can be the reason you feel like you’re in the seventh heaven, or in the midst of your worst nightmare. Yet, you can also find yourself in the midst of that grey area, where you find yourself struggling with breaking down that barrier, and telling that person what is on your mind is the only solution. We fail to realize that communication (like actual face to face), is not an option and even though texting is great, it doesn’t come close to how you’d feel on an actual dinner date.
Society has made big changes. I love how women are claiming their right to equal pay. I love how feminism is slowly becoming a positive phrase, rather than an insult. But I’d be lying if I said I love how our generation claims chivalry is dead. We choose to keep quiet about our issues, we chose to stop doing simple nice things for one another – we silently wait for Prince Charming while swiping right, yet fail to get up and say what we mean.
For the ladies, don’t think you’re off the hook! You may fail to realize this a lot, but guys cannot read your minds. It takes guts to bluntly say what is on your mind and to ask your partner to do the same. Better yet, don’t be afraid to do something nice for them too! Surprise your partner with tickets to his favorite football game or a home-cooked meal (take-out counts too, btw…)
Say what you want to say, and say it loud and clear.
Say it as you mean it. Say it with all your heart and soul. And if the other person still uses ‘Netflix and Chill’ as an excuse to avoid talking, I would suggest you’d stop wasting your time and opt into a wine night with your girlfriends instead.
So, why are you still reading this? Go talk to your partner, and tell them everything you were once afraid to say. And no, this doesn’t just make you a great girlfriend, it makes you a brave woman too.