Imagine meeting another grandma in an unexpected place. You didn’t see it happening, but you’re immensely grateful now. The two of you have leaned on each other when you needed it most.
That’s what happened to me.
So where and when did I meet this grandma of mine? Well, I met her almost three years ago in a grief group. We both lost our siblings and were both there looking for support and a safe space to talk about feelings and experiences. We wanted to keep the memories of our siblings alive, and the group helped us do that,
Over the next few months of getting to know each other, we realized that because of the way our siblings died, even though there were significant differences between our siblings, like age, lifestyle, etc., they both died of the same thing.
Because of that, we found an instant connection and bonded rather quickly.
Her warmth was so welcoming that I started jokingly calling her grandma, and she absolutely loved it. Now, that’s what I call her all the time.
She even calls me her granddaughter, and I absolutely love that too. We came into each other’s lives when we needed one another the most. We were grieving our losses and trying to heal from them together. We support each other and come together to share stories about our siblings or things that helped us heal.
We live in different states but regularly talk through text, Zoom, and other chats. We have also sent each other gifts. We desperately want to meet someday. And I know that one day, we will.
We can’t wait to finally meet in person after such a long time of Zoom meetings and phone conversations. It will be so lovely to see each other face to face. I desperately want to hug her and thank her for being there for me when I needed it the most.
That said, having this person as another grandma doesn’t replace any of my actual grandparents.
I love and appreciate my biological grandparents for who they are and what role they have played in my life. They gave me love and support whenever I needed it. Having this other grandma doesn’t take anything away from that; she simply adds to it.
When meeting someone who we start calling grandma or grandpa, aunt, uncle, or something else entirely, we often worry about hurting our actual family members’ feelings. But we should think about it differently. Having more people in your life just means more love. And that’s what we should all strive for.
If someone you have grown close to is a safe space and makes you feel loved and supported, they are your family. That is an unexpected gift you should cherish and never take for granted. I know I don’t.
Featured image via Ekaterina Shakharova on Unsplash