Home Adulting Stop Worrying About What Others Think — Just Do You

Stop Worrying About What Others Think — Just Do You

So often, we are worrying about what others might think of us. Will other people approve of my choices? If I choose what I want, will others think poorly of me? The thing is, though, we need to stop worrying about what other people think of our choices.

The other day, a former coworker reached out to me. They said they missed me, so I messaged them to see if they wanted to meet for lunch.

Reflecting on my conversation with the coworker, I was struck by the emotional rollercoaster of my departure from that job. I had been there for a significant period, but the last year was a struggle. The decision to leave was not an easy one, but when the final straw broke, I knew it was time to walk away. 

I left my job quietly and told a few people I planned to leave. I figured that those who truly cared about me would reach out to me, and that was exactly what happened. 

Sometimes, when I think about my old job or see my former coworkers’ posts on social media, I think back to how I quit my job and wonder if I hurt anyone’s feelings. 

As I look back on my journey, I realize that I may have caused some discomfort to my former coworkers. However, the past two years have been a period of immense personal growth for me. The most valuable lesson I’ve learned is the importance of making decisions that align with my own well-being.

When I think about how I left my job, I wonder if I should have told my coworkers my plans to leave. I could have announced my departure. My coworkers may have thrown me a gigantic going-away party, and that would have given them closure. But I left so quietly so that no one could stop me. 

The other day, my therapist told me that, eventually, we need to leave the people, places, and things that no longer serve us. We may love things about these people or situations, but we may also know that they aren’t good for us or find that the things we dislike outweigh what we like. When we feel like a situation that hurts us, we often subconsciously distance ourselves from those people or places without worrying.

This was definitely true of the job that I left.

In the last year of the job, I felt miserable. I rolled my eyes more often, was easily annoyed by others, and felt alone. I even once told a few of my coworkers that they were the only ones I could tolerate. This wasn’t because I hated everything about my job; I simply outgrew it. It was time for me to move on to a new position.

I might still feel miserable if I chose to stay at that job. I might’ve had an even more difficult time trying to leave if I stayed longer than I did. And if I chose to tell others that I planned to leave, they might have tried to convince me to stay, which could have made me feel even worse. Overall, leaving that job was the best decision I could’ve made, even if it upset others at the time. 

In life, sometimes you have to make your own decisions without worrying about other people. Sometimes, you can talk to others about your choices, but it’s best not to let anyone sway you other times. They are ones that you can talk to others about and get their opinion on, but for others, you have to make the decision for yourself. No matter how many people love and care about you, only you truly know what’s best for you. Making decisions on your own is scary; don’t get me wrong. But my scariest decisions have also led me to some of the best moments of my life. Don’t be afraid to break some hearts if it means saving your own.

Featured image via Vlada Karpovich on Pexels

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