Have you ever felt insecure? Do you often doubt and not trust yourself? Do you wish you could learn how to not be jealous in a relationship?
Insecurity can make jealousy your best friend and ruin relationships forever. If that’s not bad enough, when insecurity veers its ugly head and jealous drama takes over, you perpetuate a never-ending cycle of anger, depression, and chaos. This not only causes problems for yourself but also jeopardizes your relationships.
If you’re sick and tired of the crazy insecure jealousy woes and you’ve had enough drama for a lifetime, you’re in luck! Here are seven steps to get over your insecurities and stop the jealous drama.
1. Get in touch with your body’s reactions.
What happens to your body when you see your boyfriend or husband looking at another woman? Does your heart beat fast? Do you tense up, sweat, or clench your teeth?
Write down your body’s responses in a notebook. You can use your body’s responses to situations that trigger insecurities as a physical indicator, similar to an actual red light flashing, to warn you to stop before you do something you regret.
2. Wear a rubber band around your wrist and “snap yourself out” of jealousy.
Before getting into a jealous rage when you notice your body’s response to the emotional trigger, snap the rubber band hard enough to feel it. Doing this will interrupt the internal jealous dialogue in your head and train you to learn not to be jealous in a relationship.
3. Replace negative self-talk with realistic self-talk.
Whenever your insecurities are triggered, and you think, “He looked at her. I know he thinks she’s prettier than me. I bet you he wants to be with her instead. Instead, be sure to think, “He just glanced her way. She’s pretty, but I know he loves me.”
4. “Reality check” the situation.
Ask yourself this question about each situation when you felt jealous. Was there any indication, any real proof of your jealousy? If you give yourself some time, you’ll probably realize that your insecurities were based on past unresolved issues.
Why should he have to pay for the mistakes of your past partners? Whenever you’re feeling insecure, remind yourself that there’s nothing to worry about. Work on resolving past disappointments with a therapist or coach.
5. Keep a journal.
Whenever you’re feeling insecure about something, reach for your journal and write your feelings down. Free write for as long as you need to vent your frustrations. Chances are that you’ll feel much better.
Taking this extra step will save you from dramatic, jealous episodes and help you gain a clear perspective at the same time.
6. Don’t bring up your insecurities to your partner.
There’s nothing more unattractive than someone constantly questioning your every move. Men see jealous women as complainers and naggers, which definitely is not a turn-on.
Eventually, as a man hears a woman nagging more and questioning his whereabouts, the higher the chances that he will be out of the relationship faster than you can say, “Please, don’t go.” Instead of questioning or making accusations, simply tell him how you feel in sweet, thoughtful moderation.
7. Proactively plan how you respond the next time you feel insecure.
It makes it a lot easier to respond calmly when you have a plan. Be proactive about your future. You can get over the jealousy woes, be the person you want to be, and have long-lasting, loving relationships. You just need to “bite the bullet” and get “a hold of yourself.”