It’s only in recent times that sex has found its place in public discourse. In the past, people thought about sex as something to discuss behind closed doors, discouraging its practice (save for procreation), and somehow “dirty”.
Today, sex positivity is widely accepted, allowing a free flow of information concerning everything from enjoying sex more to sexual health and using sex toys. We’re past the Dark Ages of human sexuality.
Sex positivity helps you rethink old social messages about sex, allowing you to see its beauty and incredible diversity. It frees our minds so our bodies can follow.
Your Brain on Pleasure
People too often regard pleasure as a self-indulgent waste of time when it’s actually an aspect of mental health. It’s sometimes even characterized as a moral weakness if others perceive that we’re too interested in pleasure. But the truth about pleasure is that it’s good for us.
The experience of pleasure releases neurotransmitters in the brain. These chemical couriers signal the brain’s reward center that pleasure is happening. Especially important is the release of dopamine –- the “feel good” chemical that tells us we’re going receive a reward. It also prompts us to seek out pleasurable experiences like sex.
Just so you understand how important dopamine is to human health, decreased dopamine production is associated with social withdrawal and depression. Sex positivity helps us maintain dopamine levels just as any other form of pleasure does, but in a healthy, natural way.
Getting Real with Yourself
With any kind of change, there’s an incremental shift in consciousness that takes place over time. With sex positivity, that shift is about letting go of old taboos and taking hold of our ability to truly and fully experience pleasure.
A good place for you to start your sex positivity journey is exploring what turns you on. What do you fantasize about? What would you like to try in bed that you might be shy about? Be honest with yourself, examine your sexual fantasies, and give yourself permission to explore them further.
Now that you’ve gone inward, it’s time to take the journey to physical sensations. Which part of your body sends you through the roof when someone touches it? Give yourself permission to explore your own body. As you’re doing so, engage with every touch and sensation. Discover what you like and why you like it by test-driving your sexual responses. You might even try using a toy or warming lube to make the experience more pleasurable.
Sharing the Love
Once you’ve spent some time getting to know your sexual self more fully, you’ll be ready to share the love. Whether you’re married, single, or cohabiting, your partners need you to communicate with them.
They can’t read your mind and you can’t read theirs. Don’t let self-consciousness get in the way of self-fulfillment. Tell them what you want and ask them what they want. Open and honest communication will save you from a lot of fumbling around and misfires. You can set the scene with a gift of lingerie for your partner or wear it yourself. Let the sex positivity flow as you get to know each other on a deeper level.
If you find that you’re nervous about addressing the subject, or you just want to unwind and take things slow to start, consider using CBD oil to help soothe your nerves and calm your body. Use CBD-infused lotions and oils for back and body rubs and partner massages. CBD oil also supports a vibrant sex life by stimulating anandamide (a cannabinoid in the human body) production, which is known for inducing bliss.
Boundaries Matter
Setting boundaries doesn’t make you closed off –- it makes you honest about your desires. Boundaries protect everyone in a sexual relationship, so don’t be hesitant about making them clear. One goal of sex positivity is to release you from the unhealthy historical silence about sex — either on a social or familial level –- and boundaries are part of that. Healthy sexual beings speak on their own behalf about what they are willing and unwilling to do.
Sex is as much a part of our lives as work, entertainment, and socializing. Sexuality is out in the open, you should discuss and embrace it. Play safe, sex-positive people!
Very educative