I’ve never been shy about sex, and typically neither have any of my sexual partners. However, one night, a coworker of mine suggested I take a BDSM personality test online to really confirm what my interests/kinks are in the bedroom. It started out as a joke to prove a point, but quickly turned into a genuine interest of mine. I decided to ask my current sexual partner to join me in this test.
The reason I did it was not only to see the results, but to really reflect on them and use them as building blocks. Did my answers make sense? Did any of the answers surprise me? Should I try some of the surprising answers, or are they not for me?
The reason I asked my current partner to take it was to compare our results. Sure, we are having the best sex I’ve ever had and have really enjoyed our time together, but would our answers indicate that we’re sexually compatible like our physical chemistry suggests?
What I Learned About Myself
My top five kinks included Switch, Submissive, Experimentalist, Non-Monogamist, and Brat.
Truthfully, my top five results did not surprise me. I always knew I liked being submissive and my partner telling me what to do, and I damn well knew I liked being a brat from time to time when I was doing it. I also knew that I have no problem being dominant.
However, I found my sixth result a tad shocking: Rope Bunny. I don’t know if it’s because somehow in my years of sexual experimentation, no one’s ever tied me up or because in no way did my answers to any questions indicate that as being one of my interests. However, it did give both him and me some ideas of something new for us to try together.
What I Learned About My Partner
His top five included Dominant, Experimentalist, Brat Tamer, Non-Monogamist, and Exhibitionist (someone who likes to show off their body or sex skills to other people consensually).
What this proved to me about our sexual chemistry is that we are on the same page. Although some may very, they’re all stupidly compatable in their own ways. Obviously, doms and submissives work well together, as does a brat and brat tamer. But experimentists both enjoy exploring new sexual experiences together. And all of these things truly describe our sex life to a T.
What shocked me was that his seventh result was vanilla. I found it semi-conflicting because how can your top five be so wild and then vanilla sex is decently high on the list of 25 results? He almost got offended that the test would suggest that he’s “vanilla” in bed because he prides himself on being a “dominating sex freak” (his words, not mine).
What My Partner and I Learned Together
Truthfully, there’s nothing wrong with being vanilla, and that ranked higher on my list too. And not every single time we have sex can be fiery and explosive. We have “boring” sex just as much as we have exciting and kinky sex.
While doing this test individually and comparing our results afterwards, it created a healthy conversation about different things we want to try based on this list. We discussed things that without our results, we wouldn’t think to try. Then it spiraled into another conversation about other fantasies we wanted to try.
This exercise also taught me just how important trust is when it comes to kinky sex. If you are not comfortable with your partner and don’t completely trust who you’re with (in terms of vulnerability and safety), this kind of erotic sex wouldn’t work.
It’s hard to be so vulnerable with someone and share dirty fantasies you may have been holding back for years, let alone to actually do them. It made me realize just how much I trust this man and how much he trusts me and knows I won’t be offended if I get a bruise from being spanked too hard or if he speaks to me too harshly.
All in all, the question I had about if our results would match what physically happens between us was answered very accurately. While we didn’t need to take a literal test to determine if we are on the same “freak level,” it was interesting to see just how complementary our kinks were to each other. Clearly, based on our thoughts and interests, there’s a scientific reason that we work well with each other. Now I’m the most sexually pleased and liberated that I’ve ever been.
Featured Photo by Artem Labunsky on Unsplash.
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