Men can be confusing. To many women, when you first meet a guy start dating him, he’s so focused on you being hot and sexy that even though he says he wants more, the only thing on on his mind seems to be hooking-up.
Then, after you do, his behavior changes and suddenly it feels like he’ll never see you as “wife material”.
You feel completely blindsided and have no idea how to get a boyfriend who’ll want to talk about marriage when none of the dating or relationship advice you follow seems to work and make a guy fall in love with you.
What do men even want in a wife? Are there certain personality traits or other qualities and characteristics men find attractive in other women that you, apparently, seem to lack?
You want answers, the good news is that I’m here to give you the man’s perspective.
If you want to know how to get a boyfriend who’s excited to talk about marriage with you, work on honing these 3 personality traits men find most attractive in women.
1. Receptivity
When a man is really into you and is starting to take you seriously, he wants to give to you. In fact, good men fall in love when they give.
For example; he’s going to want to take you to dinner. Please don’t offer to split the check.
Being receptive in this context means you simply thank him and tell him how great the food was and what a wonderful choice of a restaurant he picked.
A mature man doesn’t need you to pay half the bill. He’s looking for a woman he can make happy and who will appreciate what he offers.
This may seem old-fashioned, but I’m not in the fashion business. I am in the help you get married and have children business.
A man marries a woman who has a solid self-esteem. Notice I didn’t say self-confidence. Self-confidence is about what you do. Self-esteem is about who you are.
Being receptive means you are comfortable and used to a man caring about how you feel, you like it, and you let him know you appreciate it when he takes care of you.
This may seem counterintuitive, but this is one of the key ways a man measures your self-esteem to sees if you may be the kind of woman he wants as a potential wife.
He wants to make you happy, and he wants to know by your feedback if he can successfully do that.
Being receptive doesn’t mean you’re sold on him. It just means you’re willing to let him try to win you over via the ancient custom of courtship, which involves one person giving to the other.
2. Available
If a guy asks you out and you’re not available for two weeks, he may still call you and follow up in hopes of a possible hook-up. But if you don’t make yourself available to see him within a reasonable amount of time, such as within one week, he’ll will come to one of two conclusions: you’re too busy with your friends and career, or you’re just not into him.
Guys are all about momentum. When they first meet you, they’re super excited and can’t wait to see you again. When you’re available, you give them the green light and let them know you’re super excited, too.
Will he get ahead of himself and ask for too much, like wanting to see you every night or sleep with you right away? Maybe. But that’s not a problem. You want a guy who’s enthusiastic.
Your job is to let him know when you are available, within reason, at a pace that works with your comfort level, and without giving him the impression that it’s never going to happen.
3. Respectful
If you look around, you’ll notice that men often don’t marry the hottest, sexiest girl they ever met. What a mature man wants in the women he’ll marry is something you can’t see with your eyes.
If he’s smart, a man marries a woman who respects him.
This simply means you respect the way he lives his life, you believe his career is on point, you appreciate the way he interacts with his friends and family, and his goals and aspirations in life are things you agree with and feel good about.
The number one thing you can do in order to show a man that you respect is asking him what he thinks about things.
When he has a problem, tell him you support him and that you’re sure he’ll figure it out.
Ask him for his advice and opinions on a topic he’s knowledgeable about.
A relationship-ready man is looking for a life partner. Doing this will make it clear to him that you’re on his team.
Getting what you want and having your way is great when you’re single, but being on a team means seeing things in a different light.
It’s hard to respect a hook-up. There’s not enough skin in the game. However, it’s easy to respect a man who wants to build with you, and that’s what having a woman’s respect does for a man — it makes him want to build with her.
If you want to know to get a boyfriend who’s willing and excited to talk about marriage, recognize that the three personality traits men find most attractive in women are receptivity, availability, and respectfulness.
Being receptive means you’re willing to follow his lead. You want to find out how he handles reality. Where does he want to take you for dinner? What does he want to do for fun? Sit back and observe so you can learn what he has to offer, if he makes your life better and if you even want him to be your boyfriend, let alone your husband.
Men are all about momentum. He’s going to come on strong and he’s going to want to do a lot of things right away in order to see if you’re available to him. As much as you can, within reason, be available. Know that yes, you’re going to have to slow him down, and you should. Just don’t kill his enthusiasm.
You’re going to want a man you respect. A lifetime is too long to spend married to a man you’re not inspired by.
At the end of the day, it really comes down to character.
Looks fade, however, a man marries a woman who respects him and is on his team, because, in the end, lasting love is a team player game.
Originally written by James Allen Hanrahan on YourTango
Photo by Edward Cisneros on Unsplash
