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This Is Me Swallowing My Pride And Telling You How I Really Feel

I steadfastly cling to my pride, holding it in my heart until it consumes me. I worry that shattering my walls will drive you away, pushing you further and further from me until all that remains is my broken heart. But this is me summoning the courage to swallow my pride, sharing the words on my heart without reservation.

This is me admitting that I need you.

I’m surrendering my smile and allowing my tears to fall, throwing my cares to the wind. I’m rediscovering that vulnerability is never weakness, that I can struggle and still maintain my self-respect. This is me shedding my façade of perfection, trusting you to hold me in my time of need, to love me through every moment of distress until my heart feels whole again.

This is me divulging my deepest secrets.

I’m vowing to tell you who I really am, letting you unconditionally love me in my rawest form. I’m trusting you to care for me in my darkest moments, at my harshest, at my ugliest, at my most afraid. This is me knowing that confiding my truths can never strip me of my dignity, even though my mind is frenzied and my heart is afraid.

This is me telling you how I really feel.

I’m expressing what my mind knows but my heart conceals, my passionate desire for you to know every piece of me. I’m sharing how much you mean to me, how my heart leaps when you remain by my side through the storms. This is me exposing the depth of my mounting emotions, reciprocating the care, warmth, and kindness you shower on me, the feelings I can never seem to express.

This is me transcending fear and stepping into courage, giving you the hardest pieces of my heart and hoping you’ll soften them. And this is me swallowing my pride once and for all, unapologetically revealing my flaws, sharing my heart, and longing for your unconditional acceptance in return.

Previously published on Thought Catalog.

Photo by Justin Groep on Unsplash



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