There are many upsides to being in a long-distance relationship. You have the ability to live wherever you choose, have your own space, and only make enough Kraft mac and cheese for one when those late-night cravings hit. However, there are plenty of downsides too. Maintaining a sex life with your partner can be challenging when you’re not in the same physical space. Missing IRL sex for months (or even years) can make you feel like your sex life won’t ever be back on track.
However, thanks to the advent of social media and video chatting — among other technologies — keeping things hot while at a distance is easier than ever. Sexual contact can relieve the stress that can come with being physically distant from your partner and can help deepen the bond between the two of you. If you need to reinvigorate your long-distance relationship and achieve sexual closeness, these 7 tips can help you.
1. Make a sex playlist.
Start a private Spotify playlist with your partner so you can both add your favorite sex songs. You’ll think of them every time you listen to it (and during whatever activity you perform while listening).
2. Research your bae’s new area.
If your paramour moved to a new city, you can do some sleuthing to find the best sex shops there and make an adventure out of it when you visit.
3. Send steamy emails/sexts.
Physical distance can be made up for with exchanging steamy photos via email or text messages as a form of teasing or foreplay for real-life activities to come. Show each other enough to tantalize but don’t be too revealing (avoid showing your face). You can even include sexy gifts in the mail such as sex toys that you can use once you’re able to visit and NSFW erotica you’ve inserted your partner into.
4. Engage in mutual masturbation via video.
Mutual masturbation can teach you what your partner (or yourself) likes and dislikes in the bedroom. Apps like Skype and Google Hangouts allow both of you to engage in this anywhere you’d like. Don’t forget to include the emotional connection in the virtual chats and ask your partner about their day, dreams for the future, and what you admire about your partner beyond their sexiness.
5. Try a traditional method of revving things up like phone sex.
Phone sex is tried-and-true for a reason: It works! Your partner’s voice is what’s missing from sexts and that could be the ingredient to really get things started. Although initially you may feel awkward and flash back to the 80s/90s, it’s possible to become aroused by your partner’s voice. It could also make you feel closer to them.
6. Wear lingerie or clothing that makes you feel sexy.
You can use this alone time to slip into clothes that make you feel hot and experiment with your partner with dirty talk, masturbate simultaneously while chatting, and broach new sexual fantasies that you’ve always wanted to try.
7. Make a sex bucket list for when you see them next.
As the old adage goes “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” All of the build-up from the virtual love sessions can lay the groundwork for a sexy visit when you do get to see them. Making a sex bucket list can heighten the anticipation for the visit. Take advantage of what you two discussed and incorporate it into the visit. You can check off a few things that both of you have been wanting to try together, like using certain toys and positions during an IRL sex romp.
Getting creative, thinking outside of the box, and utilizing the wonders of technology can help your long-distance sex life thrive. Sex is not required to maintain a strong and healthy relationship, but it makes for a great addition to the things that already glue the two of you together. Cherish all the time you get to spend with your love — both distanced and together.