Dating in your twenties is hard enough as it is with all of the lies, deception, and other issues that come with it. But once you’ve found who you may believe to be the one, you have a whole other set of issues that come with it. Maybe you’re in a repetitive rut, maybe you’ve lost your confidence in yourself, or maybe you’re unsure where you should be in life.
Regardless of your stage of life or where you are in a relationship, we could all use a little help with feeling normal.
Here is some advice about what to remember while in a long term relationship.
Being the one and being number one isn’t the same thing.
Just because they might feel like they’re the ‘one,’ doesn’t always mean they are. Don’t settle just because of certain feelings if you still feel something pulling you away. Your first serious relationship doesn’t mean it’s always forever.
Check in on each other regularly.
By having moments to stop and reflect on things in life, you prove to each other that you genuinely care and want to grow as a couple. Additionally, it shows that your maturity and communication skills are a dominant factor in your relationship. This will help prepare you for anything.
Have your own identity.
When you’re in a partnership for a long time, you tend to have an identity that’s strictly related to that relationship. Don’t be afraid to be independent, and maintain an identity outside of the relationship.
You are not an ATM machine.
I know you want to help your partner and give them some money every now and then. But you need to financially support yourself in case they won’t be around in your future.
Do things separately at times.
If you have your social groups, hobbies, and interests totally entwined with theirs, it’ll hurt a lot more if you break up. Be sure to have your own projects and interests to keep yourself separate, busy, and to maintain your own identity and friendships.
Be prepared for growing pains.
People change all the time.So know that at one point in your long term relationship (or many points) you will experience conflicts. Or times where you don’t click because you’re progressing differently. It’s totally normal and is expected
Nurture your own career.
Like I said earlier, you may not always be together, so gain financial independence and be self-sufficient. This will help you more than you’ll ever know, plus it’ll set you up for your future.
Don’t stay in your relationship out of fear.
A lot of time when you are in a long term relationship, you notice there are problems you simply can’t deal with anymore. When this happens you get sucked into staying. You fear you won’t find anyone else. You may also be scared of the dating world. Don’t be—you never know what an amazing person you’ll meet once you’re free from that commitment.
Enjoy your relationship.
Being in love is a great thing because it evokes emotions we never knew existed, often personal feelings and positive traits and habits. Embrace your relationship and cherish the things that make you smile and your heart flutter. It’s a beautiful and pure time to love and be expressive.
Relationships don’t always have to be scary, demanding or time-consuming. But sometimes they can cause our brain to fill with doubts and other insecurities. Plus it can be mentally draining. Hopefully, these bits of advice help reassure you that these issues are normal in dating. Remember not to get too consumed in your love life!
The real world still goes on if you’re up on cloud nine.
Featured image via Unsplash
[…] article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the […]