If you’re reading this, you survived Valentines Day. Whether you’re in a happy, committed relationship, or you’re perpetually swiping left and right, Valentines Day has come to pass and you’re heading to the store for discounted candy. Personally, Valentine’s Day is one of the biggest, fraudulent, commercial holidays to exist.
To be fair, when I was in a relationship and Valentine’s Day came around, I would go the extra mile. However, as the years have gone by, I’ve realized that is was not always necessary. Sometimes the best gifts were the ones that were from the heart and had meaning. And not something materialistic or went unappreciated. For that, I am glad I’m single (at least for the time being).
The day after Valentine’s Day is known as Singles Awareness Day.
And I think it’s important that people are proud to be single and not ashamed. The notion that happiness comes from being romantically involved with someone has continued to be challenged and more and more people are choosing to focus on themselves.
While I’ve been single, I’ve realized how much more time I have for myself. I’m able to pursue my interests, my passions, and put myself first. Too often in relationships, we lose a portion of ourselves to our significant other. Whether it’s organically or it’s a slow, but deliberate effort from your other half to strip you of your identity
With that being said, being single enables you to be the only one that you have to hold yourself accountable to. That means it’s up to you to get your act together, chase your goals, and make the best out of your situation.
Continuously, if people ask you why you’re single, don’t say it’s because you’re bad at dating or haven’t found the right one. That may be true, but more than likely, you’re either not completely all aboard the S.S. Bumble or ready to stop living your best life.
As singles, we need to stop feeling ashamed for not being in a relationship
It’s our prerogative whether we choose to be in a relationship or not. Outside pressure from family or friends doesn’t make us want to get in a relationship any quicker.
Recently I was spending the weekend with some friends and they’re a married couple with a kid. They had a bunch of other couples over and all they talked about their kids and being married. Was it awkward? Of course, but I also didn’t shy away from my reality.
I proudly owned that I was the only single and childless one in the room.
While it can feel like you’re a leper of sorts, it also saves you from engaging in boring, uninteresting conversations.
The other upside to being single is that you get to meet as many new people as possible. Do most of those new people end up staying in your life for more than a week? Probably not, but in that time you’re learning about other people, finding new ways to ask questions, and build a better understanding of what you want. Sure, sometimes dating feels like it’s a never-ending job interview, but it’s better than wondering what if
In my experience, since I’ve been single, I’ve had more of a social life than I did when I was in a long term relationship for four years. People want to include you in more things, they know you’re more likely to be available and that is awesome. You also have no commitments to anything (unless you’re a pet owner). You’re free to pick yourself up and go at any time. The world is your oyster and your options are endless.
Embracing your singlehood is one of the best things you can do for yourself in your 20s.
It’s that time for you to be selfish, put yourself first, and do what you feel is right for you. Your experiences are what help shape you into the person you’ll eventually be. It’s 100% okay to feel like you’re failing or not accomplishing anything. Like my girl Cardi B says, you get knocked down 9 times but you get back up 10!
So, if you’re feeling bad about having been single for Valentines Day, remember that it’s not the end of the world. It’s actually totally okay and it’s admirable. By being “alone” on Valentines, it’s showing your ability to stand on your own as an individual. Cheers to all my single people out there!