With the holidays right around the corner and the official start of #cuffingseason underway, it’s important now more than ever to prepare yourselves.
You may be asking, “what am I preparing myself for?”
Spending the holidays with your significant other’s parents.
Personally, parents love me. I have no problem getting along with people’s parents, sometimes better than my actual friends. I’m not quite a brown noser, but I certainly know how to lean into making a good impression and making my friends feel inadequate about themselves.
If your relationship is new, the odds that you’ll either be meeting the parents for the first time at Thanksgiving or Christmas skyrocket exponentially. It also means you have to be on your best behavior and leave all your stupid and childish tendencies at the front door. Meeting your significant other’s parents is a big deal, because it is a true make or break situation.
You don’t get a second chance at making a first impression.
In my experience, spending the holidays with your SO’s parents or extended family can be overwhelming, exhausting and downright insanity. You’re getting a first-hand taste of the true family dynamic, and that is also when you can spot the red flags. The same goes for your SO’s family who are looking for any and all weaknesses or flaws in you. It’s a real (mostly) subtle showdown and test of willpower not to overreact or make a complete ass out of yourself.
In the instance of Thanksgiving, if you’re spending it with your SO and their family, the odds are that it’s a multi-day journey. That includes finding ways to sneak around to get in some touching and adult fun without getting caught. As the infamous SNL short showed, sometimes the only option is in a twin bed.
My advice is to find out as much information ahead of your visit about your SO’s parents/family members so you can learn about people’s interests, hobbies, etc., especially if you’re a terrible conversationalist. The worst part about spending time with complete strangers is sitting there with nothing to say and you awkwardly sit in silence staring at each other before one of you gets up and politely excuses themselves. Take a quick trip to the bathroom if need be to Google conversation starters or information about the location you’re currently in. It’s all about playing into what people want to hear.
When you’re spending time with your SO’s family for the holidays, you don’t want to show them all of your terrible or questionable eating habits. It’s okay to be polite and decline food, but no one needs to know your whole life story the first 15 minutes they meet you. Like an onion, let them peel back the layers, one by one. Don’t chop the onion into a 1000 pieces right in front of them.
I will also say that if you’re in a complete strangers home, don’t be a complete lazy human being before and after mealtime. Make an honest attempt at trying to help the host with preparation or clean up. It shows character and that you aren’t a complete waste of space. By giving off the appearance that you care, in true sociopathic tendencies, you’ll make these people think better of you, even if you genuinely don’t want to help them. I joke, but in all actuality, it’s important to continue to leave a good first impression at every opportunity.
There are a million variables for how your first holiday spent with your significant other and their family can go, but the most important thing to remember is to communicate with your partner. Let them know about any hesitations, nerves, etc. that you may have so they can do their best to prepare you for stepping into the lion’s den of their family. Remember, these could be your potential future in-laws, so do your best to make them not roll their eyes every time your name is brought up or you walk into a room.
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