I recently ended my almost five-year relationship with my boyfriend. I’m still shocked and heartbroken about it, to be honest.
After giving it some thought, though, I honestly think the real problem with the relationship was that I chose to settle.
I looked for what I wanted in a boyfriend instead of what I truly needed. I’m not saying my ex-boyfriend is an awful person or anything like that. He wasn’t. He was sweet, kind, and would give his last dime if you ask him to. He would always push me to be better at everything I did, and he was a true gentleman. Our relationship just didn’t work out. When I first met my ex-boyfriend five years ago, I thought he was my perfect match. Our lives seemed very similar, and we’d experienced many of the same difficulties.
At first, it was like any relationship; we couldn’t get enough of each other. We spent a lot of time Skyping and texting each other every day because we live in different states.
As the relationship continued, I started to realize that we were two very different people.
The reality that I might have decided to settle and that we might not be the perfect match began to sink in, but I wanted to avoid the truth. I thought that our love could beat our incompatibility. I soon found myself settling for a relationship that was destined for failure, just because I loved my boyfriend and feared losing the bond we shared.
If I could go back in time, I would express my feelings about our relationship struggles sooner. It would have been much easier for both parties to simply let go.
When we settle in relationships, we miss out on other opportunities.
We never really get what we need, and we never feel truly happy.
This happens to a lot of people who are in relationships for a long time. When you’re with somebody for long enough, you feel like you can’t leave the person. You worry that you’ll never find someone you deserve. But how do you know what will happen if you never put yourself out there, leave the relationship, and start living for yourself again?
I know you’re going to feel lonely, and you’re probably going to cry yourself to sleep at night, as I did. You’ll eventually overcome this heartbreak, though. Don’t jump back into a relationship right away; allow yourself time to heal. During this transition, you may even discover something new about who you are. And, most importantly, when the time comes, you’ll be ready to search for that special person you really need.