I Learned That You Aren’t The One For Me While I Was Alone At The Bar

Men love it when women are alone at the bar, it’s less intimidating, and they likely think we’re trying to get laid. Now, tonight, I am sitting by myself at the bar, and as soon as I sat down it occurred to me that I was going to get hit on.

But, I’m by myself for another reason. I came to visit my friend who is the bartender. While she is talking to other customers I hear the song “Happier” come on. It’s funny when a song hits your soul like that. The liquid courage made me want to send that song to my boyfriend, but I knew I might regret that later.

Shortly, out of the corner of my eye, I see this gorgeous, British man walk up. He’s my type, tall, blonde, with piercing blue eyes. If I was single, I would flirt, talk shit, and before 2 am we would be dancing, and then we would make out.

But, I’m not doing that because I’m a loyal girl. So I advert my eyes to my phone and act like I’m occupied.

I’m realizing I have been noticing other guys a lot lately. And I have wanted to make a move on them. I know we always will think people besides our significant others are attractive. That’s life, I know there will be times where me might even get tempted, but we say no. We say no because we don’t want to hurt our person. We think of them instead of being selfish, we say no because that’s what we would want our partner to say.

I’m loyal as them come. I’ve never emotionally or physically cheated. Though there’s always been more than enough chances. I have traveled several times to different countries and cities, where there were a plethora of men who would have loved a vacation hook up, and my boyfriend would have never knew. However I always told them the truth, I have a boyfriend.

This time though, I don’t want to say that. I don’t want to admit I have a boyfriend. I want to take too many shots, I want to dance with you all night, and I want to make out with your sexy face.

But I act like I’m not even interested, deny all your comments, and physically disappear at 2 am so you can’t even find me.

I did that when I still liked my boyfriend. I did that when I had to come home to him. Now he gets mad at me for going out. He gets annoyed when I drink without him, and when I drink too much.

But this is me, I like to go out and have fun. I always take care of myself, I always get home safe, and I always stay loyal. But I don’t want to anymore, I don’t want to be your girlfriend.

I learned that night when I went to the bar, you weren’t the one for me.

Photo by JodyHongFilms on Unsplash

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