It’s generally written out for people when they’re younger what they’re going to do with their lives. Their parents decide it for them and tell them what is and isn’t attainable for them throughout their entire lives. They tell them what they’re capable of, that they’re capable of doing more, that they’re incapable of doing what they dream of. Some parents even go as far as telling their child that their dream is unattainable and it’s something that’s never, ever going to come true.
Some children push through this and do exactly what is expected of them, while others don’t push through. Others don’t manage to do what’s expected of them and then they just… let things fall apart. Some people crack under pressure, some people stay where they should be, and some people are just, well, they’re just there.
There are some things that don’t make sense to me though. Where did I go wrong? Am I the one that went wrong here? I’m supposed to be married, have a family started, graduated from college, and on the fast track to the perfect life behind that little white picket fence by now. Where did I go wrong?
I’ve always been on the more artistic side of things. I’ve always had a passion for writing, I’ve always devoured books and learned what writing types I love, what writing types I loathe, what I don’t like in my own writing and what I aspire to gain from reading the writing of others.
Poe has always been a huge influence in my life, which is almost comical as my writing style in no way resembles his. I guess it’s just been a fantasy to be a writer. Or to be a somebody. An anybody.
I’ve always been told that I have a good eye for writing though, and it’s always been my passion so that worked out for me in the end. I never had the courage to finish with a degree in writing though. I never had the courage to finish with a degree in much of anything. I never really knew what I wanted to do other than to be a writer. I want to inspire people. I want to make a difference in someone’s life.
I don’t want to be held back by my past, and I refuse to let that happen. I refuse to be held back by mistakes that I’ve made. I refuse to be held back by mistakes that other people have made on my behalf. I refuse to be held back any longer. I refuse to be told that I can’t do something and I’m going to do it. I’m going to make my way through and become what I want to become. I’m going to do what I want to do.
That sounds crazy and immature when phrased that way. Or it sounds passionate and determined when read the correct way. I’m going to make myself into what I want to be, but I need to start here. I need to start rewriting my story. When I look back at my story, it’s not where I want it to be. It’s not where I want it to be at all, so I need to start rewriting it. How does one just pick up and change their path? How does one just rewrite a story that’s already written?
Do you believe that a story is already written for you? Do you believe that you can change the story that’s playing out for you right this second? Do you believe in fate? I do believe in fate, but I believe it can change.
I believe you can change the way that things play out. The way that things go in the future by every single choice that you’re making in the present. Almost like the butterfly effect. Any choice you make now will change your future. So maybe there’s still time for me. Maybe I can still rewrite my story.