Men have jumped off the pages of GQ Magazine and are now available for rent in major cities all over the country. Handsome, charming, and available for the reasonable price of just over a hundred dollars an hour, ManServants are the hottest gift to get any of the bachelorettes in your life this wedding season. No wedding? No problem! You don’t need a reason to book time with one of these sexpots. But when you get no bang for your buck, what exactly are you paying for?
It seems that when sex is off the table, companionship is worth whipping out our charge cards. These kinds of services ensure customers that their men all come with charming personalities and a polished look. From pouring drinks to serving you and your guests with compliments, they are trained to portray whatever your idea of Prince Charming is. Whether you’re making plans to tie the knot or just looking for something fun, hiring a RentAGent to pamper you for a few hours can completely transform your weekend. Here’s a look at some types of women who need to hire a sexy servant ASAP, maybe even full time.
1. The Diva
You’re fabulous. Your hair is always done and you’re constantly being mistaken for that girl on some reality show. As up-and-coming Instagram celebrities, you feel that you need someone to hold back the mob of fans you’ve accumulated over the years. There’s nothing worse than being interrupted during a meal for an autograph. A rented fellow will act as a bodyguard and speak to the public on your behalf. He’ll put the final touches on your hair before all of your selfies, and assist in applying the perfect filter before posting it. He’s a keeper!
2. The Cougar
You need to be pampered, and who better to do that than a ManServant or RentAGent? He can brush your hair, paint your nails, and massage your weary feet all while finishing up a load of laundry and putting dinner on the table. Then, when you’re all dolled up, you’ll take your young hunky arm candy out on the town for some scenic photos to quiet all the haters on Facebook. While this service doesn’t offer a happy ending, this dreamboat will put you on display in a way that will get nearly everyone’s attention.
3. The Bachelorette
You may be celebrating your last fling before the ring, but the thought of having sweaty balls dancing under your nose is quite nauseating. As you deserve to be treated like a goddess, you decide that you shouldn’t be pouring your own drinks. In fact, you don’t think you should be doing much lifting at all. A hunk of the night can sweep you off our feet, carrying you from the bar to the dance floor, and eventually from the dance floor to your limo. He’ll hold your purse until you need to reapply your lip gloss, and then dig it out and glide it over your lips for you. He’ll compliment your bridesmaids, your sisters, and even your fiancé’s homely looking cousin you were forced to invite.
4. The Bitter Single
You ditched the guy, but he moved on quicker than you would have liked. As you scroll through your Instagram feed and see his goofy grin as he’s snuggled up with your replacement, the one he always claimed was “just a friend,” you’re tempted to click that unfollow button. Instead, cuddle up for photos with your own stud by hiring one for an hour or two. Post your photos with some flame emojis and sit back while your ex goes insane!
5. The Boss Bitch
You’re important. So important that you couldn’t possibly make your own coffee or read your own emails. In fact, the AC is busted in your office, and you can’t possibly manage to fan yourself all day. A ManServant or RentAGent can also be your personal assistant. He’ll run out to get your lunch and offer a shoulder massage as the stress of the day builds. He’ll also add to your office décor as he’ll be just so darn handsome!
6. The Lonely Single
You’re the woman requesting a table for one and spending most of your nights lounging on the couch with your bestie Netflix. You hardly mind that your stilettos are collecting dust in your closet, but every now and then you get an invitation that requires a plus one. And when you can’t stand grandma’s inquiries anymore about whatever happened to your “little friend” you mistakenly brought to Christmas that one year, or you don’t want to hear your colleagues faked astonishment when you show up to the holiday party stag, you turn to these convenient services and hire yourself a stud!
Whether you’re focusing on your career or just sick of swiping on Tinder, take things into your own hands and order your male companion online. Other than an innocent massage these men are instructed to keep their hands to themselves, which is probably more than you can say for most of your dates. If you’re looking to keep it classy, this is definitely the way to go!