A Letter To My Human On This ‘International Cat Day’

Dear Human,

As I lie here in your favorite spot, doing important cativities like napping, I decided I could squeeze in a meowment to paw out a little note for you. In case you are unaware, today is “International Cat Day,” which means that you should be a-purr-shiating me more than ever on this Caturday. I am a meow-nificent member of this family and contribute in all the best ways. I clean myself, I use the litter box, I nap and spread love fur everyone. I am literally purrfect.

Let me say, you are a claw-some human most of the time, but I do have a few items I’d like to try to purr-suade you to address.

First, let’s discuss the new curtains. While I get that the color is a purrfect expression of your purrsonality, the reality is that these drapes prevent me from enjoying all my favorite sunspots. Please remove these immediately so that I may resume my normal cativities soon.

I also would like to meowntion the new cat litter you have purchased. It smells, it doesn’t clump, and it sticks to my paws. None of this is catsceptible. I demand that you replace all the litter boxes with the old litter immediately. I tried to meowntion this to you last night, but I couldn’t find you after I used the paw-tilities. I meowed and meowed, but you were nowhere to be found. Perhaps you also needed to use your litter box and wanted some purrivacy?

While I do greatly enjoy the tiny humans inside our house, I need to discuss some purr-oblems I have with them. Yesterday, they purred water on me, and you know I do not like baths. That is meow furbidden. No water for the tiny humans, please. They also keep sharing my food with these dolls that look meowthing like cats, so please let them know the food is for me and me only. Oh, and I need the tiny one to stop pulling on my tail, that would be claw-tastic, thanks.

I know you think I just have a cat-itude and am throwing a hiss-y, but these aspects of our home will need to change, or I will declare war…and you meow what that means…

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must return to the purramid with the other kittens as we have a very important meowting that involves sleeping until you return from work.


Your Cat

PS-The food is not filled to my liking. Please fix immeowdiately.

PPS-The mouse by the front door is for you. I know, I give too much. You’re welcome.

Feature Image by Monica Silvestre via Pexels


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