As I enter my late twenties (currently crying on the inside) I’ve realized that being single is no longer as fun as it sounds, I’m forced to put myself in social situations. With the prevalence of dating apps increasing and all of my friends getting engaged/married/having kids/generally having their s**t together, I’m finding myself the odd man out. I only have a few single guy friends so when we go out, like a pack of wolves, or any animals that travel in packs, we find comfort in each other’s company and our endless choice of liquor over meeting new girls.
The difference between being in a bar when you’re in college and early 20’s as opposed to when you’re in your late 20’s is that your whole perspective on life changes. Especially when you’re trying to find love in a hopeless place.
I recently had a night out on the town and it was in that moment I truly observed the various types of girls at a bar. It was this exact moment of clarity that I knew that I had to get my life together, find a nice respectable person to call my other half and get the hell out of the bar. I’m going to break down the types of girls found at a bar as if I’m Steve Irwin and this is Animal Planet.
The Girls Who Don’t Get Off Their Phone
Do you remember when Paris Hilton famously said that she pretended to be on her phone whenever she was out in public so people would not talk to her? Yeah, well that is what these girls at the bar are doing. They have their heads tilted down, glaring so hard into their cell phones and avoiding all contact with other human beings. Why bother going out if you’re only going to be on your phone?
The Girls Who Try Too Hard
When I was in college and I would go out with my friends, there was always that one girl sitting at the bar who looked out of her element ordering a martini. My exact thoughts included “who wants to drink straight vodka” and “you’re not on Sex and the City.” Now, when I go out and I see young women my age attempting to order these “classic” drinks that they nurse for over an hour in an attempt to look sophisticated. If anything, you look like you are probably stuck up and won’t give me the time of day.
The Girls Who Are Too Drunk For Their Own Good
It’s never a good look to be too drunk at a bar. It’s unflattering, unbecoming, and I’m not trying to worry if that’s who you’re going to be forever. Yes, people change, but you also want to leave people with a good impression. Sloppy drunk girls at the bar are such a turn off. Especially when they’ve lost their ability to form coherent sentences. What a shame.
The Girls Hanging Out With All Her Bros
Don’t bother approaching. It’s game over before you even open your mouth.
The Girls Who Are Carefree
It’s this special breed of girls who are the ones that are worth talking to. They’re approachable, you may have seen them out on the dance floor carelessly dancing along to a song or engaging in conversation with almost everyone in the bar. Their body language is relaxed, they appear welcoming and potentially open to making a new connection with someone they met that night.
Overall, for every four girls at the bar, you’re bound to find one that is worth approaching and shooting your shot at. The worst that can happen is you have a brief and awkward conversation, a one night stand or a straight up rejection. As I continue to grow as a person and get comfortable approaching complete strangers, I’m building my confidence and realizing that not everyone is so scary. So you if you see me in a bar, come say hi.