The world feels pitch-black, heavy in its seemingly constant fog. I claw at stability, grasping above the rising waves in complete darkness. But somewhere in the ebony night, I can just make out a glimmer of light because I believe that life will get better.
The world feels harsh, unforgiving in revealing its truths. I lose my sense of tranquility in the midst of doubt and disbelief, wondering if I can shield myself from the nagging thought that maybe I will never be enough. But deep in my heart, I choose to press on because I believe that life will get better.
The days feel monotonous, tiring in their unceasing routine. I worry in the wake of my exhaustion, afraid that maybe, I will never discover the powerful sense of fulfillment for which I constantly long. But even as my mind begins to shut down, I promise myself to never stop searching for the key to contentment because I believe that life will get better.
The hours pass slowly, as if time is frozen. I feel weaker with every passing moment, fighting the anxious thoughts that threaten to infiltrate my mind, willing myself to breathe steadily, to desperately grasp at any iota of calm I can feel. But even as I struggle to breathe, as I wonder if my humanity is failing me, I attempt to lure myself into a timeless, hazy serenity because I believe that life will get better.
The minutes become unceasing, as if they are taunting me in my breathlessness. I find myself longing to feel again; to feel time rushing by, to feel purposeful, to feel whole, to feel fulfilled, to feel distressed, to feel angry, to feel anything besides complete numbness. But as the minutes drone on, as I long to feel sentient, I discover a spark swelling deep within, urging me to hold onto every moment because I believe that life will get better.
As the weight of the world bears down on me, threatening to break me, I realize that maybe, the darkness enshrouding me isn’t the heartbreaking ending I constantly feared; it’s the bittersweet beginning of a life of opportunity, happiness, and fulfillment. I hold onto hope in the wake of my struggles because I believe that life will get better.
Even in my darkest moments, I believe that life will get better. And, as the weight of the world bears bears down on you, as you claw at stability, numbly wishing for a life of fulfillment, I hope you believe that life will get better, too.
Previously published by Thought Catalog.
Featured Photo by Francisco Moreno on Unsplash.
