Reaching the love milestone in a relationship is pivotal and exciting but it can also be intimidating for someone who isn’t sure. Have you ever said the words ‘I love you’ because you absolutely felt you had to or else you would seem cold-hearted?
It’s a natural response to say the words ‘I love you,’ just because the person you care about said it to you but it doesn’t hold substance if you don’t have the feelings to back it up. Some of the reasons why you sugar coat your feelings are:
- You are simply afraid of the truth.
If it’s a relationship you are trying to build upon, honesty should be at the core of this bond. It does not help to embellish the truth because it isn’t fair to your partner’s honest feelings. If you don’t feel completely comfortable, to be honest maybe you truly aren’t ready to say ‘I love you’ back. This is a sign that you need to have an open conversation about where your feelings lie. Anyone who cares enough will understand and give you a chance for your feelings to grow.
2. You want to make them happy.
Relationships are a two-way street and both people have to eventually meet in the middle. Being emotionally ready is very important. Lack of emotional readiness may cause feelings of obligation to say certain things or act in certain ways that aren’t natural to how you feel inside. It may even stir up feelings of guilt causing you to pull away from the relationship. Love comes naturally and shouldn’t be forced.
3. You will look insensitive.
You aren’t wrong or incapable of love just because you haven’t found love in your relationship. Some people fall in a love fast and others prefer to move slowly. In the event your partner is someone who has fallen in love faster than you, it’s important to have a gentle conversation expressing that you have not reached that level yet. It’s okay to explore a relationship before you fully commit.
4. You don’t want to admit that you want to date around.
Being in love may not align with what you want at this stage in your life and that’s okay. Being in your 20’s is a time of discovery and learning. Some people even have their first taste of dating in their 20’s. Entering a serious relationship isn’t always ideal for someone who wants to explore new experiences and travel the world. There is nothing wrong with wanting your own freedom to get to know many people with different personalities and characteristics. This is part of discovering what you want and need long term.
Skipping the ‘I love you’ part doesn’t mean you don’t care and It doesn’t mean you’re a cold-hearted wench. It simply means more time is needed to build a stronger bond and discover if you’re even in love. Only you know what your true feelings are. Admitting that you aren’t in love yet takes a lot of guts.