Why You Can Miss Someone You Don’t Even Know

I didn’t know much about you when this began between us. I didn’t know if it was the right decision, doing something I have never done, and jumping in head first with a complete stranger. I didn’t know how things were going to unfold as we rolled down the sheets and our bodies curved into one another. I didn’t know what the future would hold past that night, but I knew right in that moment that I was already going to miss you when you were gone.

I didn’t know much about your past. I didn’t know if you were a serial killer or a womanizer. I didn’t know if you did this often or if this was your first time too. I didn’t know if leaving your feeling on the bedside table while you have a one night stand was possible, but I was willing to risk it with you. Why? It was the look in your eyes that took my breath away. It was a look that no other guy had ever given me. It was a look that still haunts me in the most beautiful way.

I don’t know your middle name. I don’t know where you grew up or what flavor ice cream you prefer. I don’t know what your favorite movie is or if you like to read, but I know the way your muscles feel when they are around me. I know the way your kiss tastes. I know the scent of your cologne and how it puts me at ease. I know the way that you know how to touch every inch of my body in all the right ways. I know that I never want to lose that feeling of the way you can make my heart race.

Every time we would get close to learning more, I felt you holding back. I didn’t want to lose this physical connection we had so I let it stand. I let you kiss me, knowing that it could be ages before I could feel you again. I let you hold me, knowing that that feeling would be gone tomorrow. I let you pull me into your bed, knowing that this might be the last time we ever have a moment like this. I let you pull me in, not knowing if I would ever be able to pull myself out again.

I just don’t understand how you can miss someone you don’t even know. How can you overdose on something that was never even yours? How can you care about someone so much that you know nothing about their normal life? How can you picture a future with someone if you can’t even have a normal present with? How can you fall for a someone that was just supposed to be a one-night stand?

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were supposed to be a one-time experience. You were supposed to be just for fun. You were supposed to help me to get over him. You were supposed to distract me from the problems in my life. You were supposed to be gone in the morning and now you are still here in the back of my mind, lingering around and leaving me to wonder, how can you miss someone you don’t even know?

Featured image via Edwin Rucci on Unsplash