Home Humor When Your Childhood Punishments Become Your Adulthood Goals

When Your Childhood Punishments Become Your Adulthood Goals

When I was a kid, it seemed myself or my siblings would get in trouble all the time. I remember crying when my toys were taken away and pouting in the living room while everyone played outside. But now, man what I wouldn’t give for that to be my life. Sound crazy? Hear me out!

No toys: Goodbye technology! As much as we love having our phones glued to our hands, for the amount of time we spend watching Netflix on our laptops, the channels we flip through just to watch the same reruns of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. over and over, it’s so nice to have a break. If I couldn’t use any of that for a few hours, I would be ecstatic. Unplugging yourself isn’t done enough. Being able to curl up with a good book and some tea without feeling guilty for ignoring messages would be the furthest thing from punishment.

Grounded: Oh you mean I can’t go out? Bummer. I guess I’ll just stay in, save my money, and not spend hours getting dolled up. You guys. The older you get, the less enticing “going out” gets. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good night out. But there is now a short time window between getting home from work and eating dinner to couch chillin’ and teeth brushing. If you don’t catch me in those few minutes post dinner, pre-pajama time or if you make me wait too long before deciding what’s up, count me out.

No dessert: As in, I won’t gain a few pounds each month by shoving sweets in my face? Sign me up! Dessert is all well and good but I think we take it a bit far now that, as adults, we have the freedom to choose what and when we eat. I am the first to offer to bring baked goods to an event and I will never turn down an offer of chocolate, but we need some moderation. We still need that stern voice to tell us to step away from the cookie jar or slap our hands as we grab the ice cream from the freezer.

Timeout: Silence for a few minutes. Now that is a little slice of heaven. No one will talk to me; I will talk to no one. Just the wall, a chair, and my thoughts in our own love triangle of peace. If I say I need space or time to sit alone now, my friends think I’m mad at them or that I have some sad news I’m working myself up to saying out loud. Can’t I want to chill? Isn’t there enough of my life spent chatting and listening?

Go to bed early: Okay. You don’t have to tell me twice. I would love to go to bed early every night! I wake up early, I need to go to sleep early. But it seems the best TV shows and the most exciting things happen when it’s dark out. But then I’m so cranky at work the next day and I get headaches if I’m not well rested and it gets pretty ugly. They don’t call it beauty sleep for nothing.

I try to keep myself in line by setting my phone in the other room when I watch a movie, by not eating a whole bag of Hershey’s Kisses in one sitting, by taking naps if I don’t feel well. It would just be so nice if I had someone making me do all that. And that would also mean, I could blame that person who is making me do it when my friends are asking where I’ve been. It’s not that I don’t love being social or treating myself, but we all need a break and some zen time.

Featured image via Gage Walker on Unsplash



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