Singlehood isn’t a status, it is a choice.
It is a common misconception that if someone is single, it is because no one wanted to be with them. This is entirely false. Most single people are single because they chose to be single. They are extremely strong, passionate and fierce individuals who are not willing to settle for just anyone who comes their way. They know their worth and they’re waiting for the right person.
So if a girl who’s been single forever has decided to be with you, realize that she doesn’t need you, she chose you. She is entirely self-sufficient and good at flying solo, so don’t take for granted the fact that she hasn’t dated a lot. Appreciate the fact that she has picked you.
Here is what to expect from a girl who’s been single forever:
- She will need her space: She isn’t used to having anyone in her life and in her space. She is the person who will need her space and will give you yours too. Accept that she isn’t one of those girls who will need you all the time. She’s used to doing things by herself and just because you are in the mix, that isn’t going to change her. Appreciate the fact that she won’t be one of those needy ,clingy girlfriends that’s guys usually detest.
- She will have trust issues: Being single doesn’t mean she hasn’t been with anyone. It just means that she has been with her fair share of people who haven’t treated her the way she should’ve been treated. She is going to come with trust issues. She is going to question and monitor your every move and motive. Don’t take it personally; realize that this is just her body’s way of trying not to get hurt again.
- She will be scared: She isn’t the girl who moves from one relationship to another. She doesn’t know how a relationship is supposed to work. It’s like putting her in an area in which she has very little experience and expertise. She will be scared initially, it will take her some time to settle in and get comfortable. It is your responsibility to understand her fear and help her through it.
- She will take some time to adjust: She is not used to having someone else in her life. Suddenly you are added to the mix and she doesn’t exactly know what to do with you. She’s used to being alone, not having to answer to anyone, ordering a meal for 1, sleeping in the middle of the bed etc. She might even forget you are there in her life, but don’t take it to heart. Give her some time and your relationship will definitely emerge victoriously.
- You will be under the close radar: Look out for her friends. They will be eyeing your every move. This is just because they have seen their friend get hurt one too many times and they just want to prevent that from happening again. Once her friends approve of you, you will have nothing to worry about.
- It will be hard to crack open that shell: As mentioned before, she is single because she’s been hurt many times. She has developed a shell around her to protect her from lying, cheating, and non-genuine guys. She will not be trusting enough to open up to you right away but once you do, you will realize there’s a soft and vulnerable side behind the hard shell that she shows the world.
- She is totally self-sufficient: She is used to being alone and doing everything by herself. She doesn’t need anyone to complete her in any way or to do things for her, she can manage just fine. All she wants is for someone to inspire her and help her grow to the greatness she is destined for.
- She is very selective: She has high standards when it comes to relationships. She isn’t scared of being alone so she isn’t going to pick someone just because… She knows exactly what kind of a person she wants and you have to be just that to be able to make the cut.
- She will be hot & cold: Like I said, she will be scared, it will be hard for her to trust you initially, she will have various thoughts running through her mind with regards to your intention making her act in varied ways. You may think she’s giving you mixed signals but in fact, she is just trying to make sense of her feelings for you and also trying not to get hurt in the process.
- She is a very strong person: Since she is used to doing everything herself, she won’t be comfortable with asking for help either. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t offer and try to help her. However just don’t act like she is some damsel in distress and you are her knight in shining armor because that’s far from it.
It isn’t going to be easy to be with someone who hasn’t dated a lot. They will not follow the usual dating charades everyone follows these days. Don’t expect anything mediocre from them. They will love passionately so if you cannot handle the intensity of what they have to offer, resign immediately. You won’t have to worry about them playing dating games, but don’t try to take them for granted either.
Being single doesn’t mean they are weak, it just means they are strong enough to wait for the person they deserve. They have come across all kinds of people, the good and the bad. They know how they should be treated and if you don’t treat them right, they will leave without giving you a second thought. A girl of that kind is special and if you find her make sure to keep her. Don’t forget, being single is her way of life so you need to be pretty amazing if you want to change that.
Featured image via Hian Oliveira on Unsplash
