Getting your heartbroken is not an ideal situation when talking to someone you’re interested in, but it will happen to you at least once. In my case, a couple of times so far, but you know what happens afterwards? I grow a bit stronger and learn more about myself that I don’t think I would’ve known if that heartbreak hadn’t happened.
It took me a while to realize that finding a guy to be in a relationship shouldn’t be my biggest concern. Never put your self-worth on a guy. The last time my feelings were crushed, I learned two very important things: focus on yourself and your mom can give you the best advice when it comes to guys.
I was sitting in bed and feeling sad because this average guy didn’t like me the way I thought he did and I didn’t mean as much to him as he did to me. Something inside me told me to call my mom and I’m glad I did. Our moms are older than us which means they have seen so much more of the dating world than we have. Even though they dated in a different time period where social media was not as prevalent as it is today, guys are guys no matter the decade. At first I thought she didn’t understand where I was coming from when she told me that:
1. I should be focusing on myself and using my energy to better myself instead of using it to cry over a boy.
2. Notice what happens when I stop hitting him up to see if he starts coming back for attention.
Surely enough when I took her advice to just cut ties from him… guess who snapped and texted me multiple times a couple of days later?
I continued to cry that night, but told myself that I have been through way worse than this guy and I am better than this. After I cried about him that night, I made sure that I would not cry again over him. The next day I was wholeheartedly focused on myself: doing well in school, finding what makes me truly happy, and making healthier decision for myself.
By the time he hit me up a couple of days later I didn’t give him a second thought. I saw how much happier I was when I focused my time and energy into improving my life and discovering what makes me happy, instead of constantly worrying about if he was going to text me that day.
At the time I kept thinking why was this happening to me, this heartbreaking pain I feeling in my chest. Now I know that it happened so that I could learn to love myself and that all I need to do right now in my life is to figure out what I am passionate about.
Heartbreak is not going to be a fun thing for you to experience, but trust me when I say you will come out of it wiser and stronger. You take what you have learned and apply it to the next time you want to investment your time into someone else. At the end of the day you are your most important priority. Remind yourself that most of your energy should be going into improving yourself and not hung up on someone. Everything happens for a reason and when the time is right you will find the one you are meant to be with. And don’t forget that when you feel utterly lost, pick up the phone and call mom.
Featured image via Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash
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