I woke up this morning and jumped in the shower. When I got out, I wiped the fog off my mirror and stood there staring directly at every imperfection I could possibly pick out. I stretched my pores and tossed my hair wondering why I couldn’t be like the girls I saw with flawless features that morning on my Instagram. I applied copious amounts of makeup, just to end up washing it all off anyway. I changed my outfit four – no five – times. The end result was nothing more than a messy bun and old band tee. It was one of those days no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t feel confident in myself.
It had me thinking of all the times my roommates and I would be getting ready for a night at the bar, and there was almost always someone who just couldn’t get in the groove of confidence. It’s weird how we have those days where we can’t see for ourselves the beauty that we radiate. For the girls who woke up this morning with a kink in their hair and a cloud over their head, here’s what to remember when you just can’t feel confident in yourself:
1. Nobody feels 100%, 100% of the time.
We’re all human. We all have insecurities and those flawless girls on Instagram face the same day-to-day lows that you do.
2. Remember what makes you happy.
Remember that time your best friend was talking in her sleep and you got the entire hysterical event on Snapchat? Or how about the light breeze on the swing set of your first family home? Think of something that in the simplest state, makes you happy.
3. Know that you can treat yourself every now and again.
Whether it’s buying that watch you’ve been eyeing or devouring an entire bag of Doritos in one sitting, it’s totally okay to spend time, money, or invest energy in yourself!
4. Although they say “happy girls are the pretty girls”, it’s okay not to be happy.
You’re still pretty to more people than you realize, so let yourself have a damn cry. It’s healthy to allow your body to feel whatever it is that it’s itching to feel in that moment. Laugh for no reason, cry for no reason, or scream into your pillow for no reason at all.
5. Remember that it’s never as bad as it feels.
Everything you’re feeling is a production of your own mind. A lot of the time what you’re seeing in the mirror isn’t actually an accurate depiction of how you look to others at all.
6. Confidence isn’t skin deep. This is the sh*t you can control.
Let yourself bypass the mirror tomorrow and live your day without worrying about how you look. Your confidence will begin to stem from all the other wonderful qualities you show in your words, actions and thoughts. Feeling good about yourself isn’t a direct infusion of anyone’s compliments. It’s how you decide to approach and treat you.
7. Nobody can ever love yourself as strongly and as meaningfully as you can.
So you don’t look your best today…who cares? Are you comfortable? No? Pull on a cozy hoodie. Wipe off those layers of makeup and give yourself a deep breath. Feeling good from the inside out what I would call, the top rated trick to confidence.
8. Remember to give yourself a hug.
Literally. Wrap those noodly arms around your entire body until you couldn’t possibly squeeze any tighter.
9. And remember to take care.
Eat well, exercise, read poetry, listen to music, call up old friends, write letters to your grandparents. Take care of yourself and take care of those around you. You’d be surprised how far a little kindness can go.
Being confident has no one easy solution. There’s no set of rules or products I could give you to instantly spark a happier or more outgoing version of yourself. But what I can tell you, is that confidence is a complete social construct and you have the power to see yourself in a light that you respect and care for. With these simple changes, you may begin to notice a greater appreciation for yourself and I hope you can begin to understand how much you have to offer the world on these unconfident days.