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How To Find Yourself When You Feel More Lost Than Ever

What does it mean to be truly happy? How do we obtain this happiness that sometimes feel so far out of reach? It’s a lot simpler than we think, we look within.  

Stay in the NOW.

“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.” – Lao Tzu

A quote that is often read, but seldom understood. If we are constantly relating our present experiences to past ones, we are drawing relation to something that is no longer taking place; focusing on negativities of the past and in turn creating unnecessary expectations for our future. Likewise, if we find ourselves constantly anticipating future moments in our life to come, we cannot be happy with our current surroundings. If we were to truly submit and allow life to happen in front of us, we would witness the unfolding of true happiness.

This is absolutely NOT to say that we shouldn’t have visions and goals for the future, however, we must remember not to neglect the present as it is here to mold us and help us create – we need to focus our happiness on what we already have. You must have goals, but your happiness cannot be tied to these goals. In other words, you must be happy before you attain them.

Gratitude, it all starts here.

You cannot have more of anything unless you express gratitude for what you are currently given. A simple act of gratitude on a daily basis can transform ANYONE’S life. Start every morning by being grateful for the experiences and situations you have been given and watch your day unfold in the most beautiful of ways.

You need to do things you love.

People are far too concerned with being “realistic” in this society that we live in. Abandoning what you love and submitting to a life of working for money, doing something you hate: that is not realistic.

We need to do what we love. Success in any and all areas will come, because we will be successful when we are doing what we are happy doing. You need to trust in yourself a little more, always. Of course I understand the importance behind making a positive life for our future selves and families, but this can only happen when we are doing something we are genuinely interested in and when we are happy beings.

Do something nice for someone else.

It’s funny how even something extremely minuscule can make you feel like a million bucks. I’m talking the simplest of things: hold the door for a stranger, call your grandparents (they appreciate it more than you know), tell someone in an elevator you like their pants – only if you mean it I am not reinforcing lying here. It’s crazy how far it goes. We need to remember that the secret to our own happiness is the happiness of others.

Give a little, receive a lot.

What I believe, I achieve.

Align your thoughts and beliefs with exactly what you want your life to be. Remember, you are in control and you create your life. Our outside world is merely a reflection of our internal selves.

When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it, it’s amazing.  You do not need to know how to attain your goal to set your goal. You know WHAT you want, but you do not need to know yet, how to get there. Just understand that this thought is what you want…think, believe, act on it and it can be yours, so long as your true intention is there. So many of us choose our path out of fear, disguised as “practicality.” What we truly want seems ridiculously out of reach, and impossible to expect – so we never dare to ask the universe for it. You HAVE to ask the universe for it!

Release fear and the ego.

Wait. How do we let go? What do we let go OF?

Let me be precise here: ANYTHING that is not in alignment with your highest, happiest or loveliest self. If it isn’t serving you, you don’t need it. I’m not talking strictly about that friendship of yours that you know isn’t benefiting your life. I mean any negative thoughts, doubts, fears, limitations; anything that you feel is hindering rather than enlightening your being. Let that shit go. Fear is never necessary.

Make time for yourself and go with the flow.

Allow everything to flow. If you are able to step back without worrying so much, don’t you notice that things sort of just work out for you? You realize you don’t have to do everything. We do not need to alter or control every aspect of every situation – it’s overwhelming and it’s not a good feeling. We’re always supported and by remembering that, we don’t have to try to fix or be in charge of everything, we can relax and be happy.

Solitude is important. It allows us to connect with ourselves – having time for not only relaxation but also reflection.

Happiness is not a destination, it’s already right here. As within, so without.

Featured image via Kamay on Pexels


  1. Kelsie, you have no idea how wonderful it was to read this article. I have been struggling with anxiety and fear for some time now, and it has been really hard for me to feel any sense of happiness or gratitude. Your article was exactly the thing that I needed to read to give myself a break and learn to be happy within myself. Thank you so much!


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