It’s always nerve-wracking. Meeting the boyfriend’s parents and their siblings. From the moment you walk through their front door, all eyes are on you. The new girl. [So don’t f*ck up]. You can feel yourself about to stumble over words when they ask you basic questions, but then you start sweating when they get into the serious, life questions, like “What do you see yourself doing in the future,” and you start to hear your heartbeat in your ear. Like come on, I’m 21 years old! I’m struggling just to make plans for the weekend, never mind figuring out where I see myself in ten years…
I remember meeting my boyfriend’s family for the first time and I was nervous from the get-go. You don’t want to be “wrong” in your answering their questions. You want to come off sophisticated, focused and motivated, yet, somehow with all the stress of trying to impress them, you come off idiotic, messy, and incoherent. It ends up being a bit of an embarrassment.
The pressure of meeting new people alone can be stressful, but meeting his family is a whole new level of intensity. Here are a few things that are racing through our minds when we meet the family.
1. Do I hug them or shake their hand?
I stutter with this. Is it like a business meeting, just smile and shake their hand, or do you just hope for the best and go in for the hug?
2. What will his mom think of me?
The mom is sometimes scarier than the dad… She seems to have this unbreakable bond with her son that you definitely don’t want to interfere with, but can feel her staring at you and judging every word that comes out of your mouth.
3. Should I answer my phone?
You’re getting a phone call and you almost feel like you’re in school again and have to pretend it’s not yours ringing so you stare up elsewhere.
4. What do they know so far?
5. Am I wearing too much makeup?
You tried to enhance your natural beauty, but before you know it your cat eye is thicker than it should be and the wings are too dramatic for a casual lunch with the family.
6. What kind of questions will they ask?
You’re kind of nervous for what’s coming your way. You want to seem mature and stable, but find yourself stumbling over words and struggling to finish a sentence.
7. Is my outfit appropriate?
You’re contemplating, from the second you walk to the front door, if you’re outfit is too revealing, too slutty, too inappropriate. I mean, God only knows how religious these people are!
8. What are they going to think of my tattoos?
Perhaps you have a few tattoos and love them, but you know people always have some smart ass comment to make about them, so you’re hoping they just don’t notice them. And if they do, they absolutely love the artwork.
9. Do they think I’m being fake?
You’re just very engaged and interested in everything his parents and siblings have to say, so you’re paying close attention and you end up blabbing for longer than you should.
10. Should I be myself, completely?
How much of yourself do you give away? You don’t want to seem shy, but you don’t want to give your life story on your first interaction.
11. Can I see myself fitting in here?
Once you have a bit of a conversation, you start to wonder if you could see yourself celebrating occasions like Thanksgiving or New Year’s with them. If you could get along with them and enjoy their company and vice-versa.
It’s always awkward and tense when meeting your boyfriend’s family for the first time. You feel judged and put on the spot. With every word that comes out of your mouth, to the way you’re standing, to the way you smile. Simply everything is being evaluated. However, all his family wants is the best for him. And who wouldn’t would want the best for their son or brother?
It completely normal to feel nervous and on edge about meeting the boyfriend’s family, but just try to remember to be yourself as much as you can. It won’t happen all at once (for some) because it’s simply intimidating. To put all you have to offer on the line and hope to God his family likes you…it’s risky business. But my boyfriend and I have dated for over a year now and I open up to his family the more I get to see them and I am starting to connect on a different level than I would’ve before, had I not given them the opportunity to know the real me. It’s certainly intimidating at first, but don’t let your nerves get the best of you, because your boyfriend saw something special in you that he wanted to share with the rest of his family. He wanted his family to get to know how beautiful of a person you are, so don’t hold back with establishing that relationship. It could turn into something bigger than you thought it would.
Featured Image via Friends With Benefits.