You’ve had it. You’re done. This product sucks and you’re calling the company. You’re going to speak directly with the people who made, marketed, sold, and stand behind this thing. HAHA yeah, right.
I worked in a call centre for 6 months. Only 6 months because it was the worst. I worked for company that had a contract with a large manufacturer. Essentially, we took your calls and wrote down things you said in a computer that literally no one who actually had anything to do with the company responsible for the products ever looked at. Sure, sometimes if your issue was big enough I would pass information along and maybe you’d end up with some service, but that wasn’t the typical case. Mostly, I just listened to you rant and said goodbye.
Working in a call centre is terrible. You basically exist solely to listen to people being miserable and often downright rude to you (seriously got death threats) for no reason. You didn’t make the thing, you didn’t sell them it, but you are the outlet for all their frustration. However, at some point you have to realize that your job is actually ridiculous. Don’t you just feel sorry for the poor people wasting their time talking to you? I mean, they think you actually make more that minimum wage and work somewhere in the vicinity of the actual company they believe they’re dealing with.
There are plenty of horrid things you go through on a day to day basis and 7 lovely things we’ve all heard come out of customer’s mouths and how we wish we could respond:
- “What’s your name/ID number?”
“My name is Gillian.”
“What’s your last name?”
“I’m not telling you that?”
“Because you have thrice threatened to kill me during this conversation, sir.”
- “I’d like to speak to a manager.”
“Sure, no problem. She’ll call you tomorrow because she’s busy talking to all the other idiots who actually think she’s going to give them a different answer than I did.”
- “Is this how you treat your loyal customers? My grandfather has bought all his products here for 50 years.”
“I mean…these are the rules, so yeah, I guess it is how I treat customers. Also, you purchased one thing from here, ever. Try having your grandfather call and see if he gets another answer.”
- “Well I hope you’re ready because I’m going to sue you for every penny you’re worth.”
“Please do! You don’t even know my full name or where I live, but you do that. But I see on your file you live in California so I would just love a vacation from this hell-hole I call an office. Also, I’m worth nothing. I literally have $12 in my bank account so you’d be wasting your time.”
- “I will find you and you will pay for this.”
“That is big talk for a guy who knows nothing about me while I am sitting looking at a list with his full name, address, phone number, and email.”
- “So that’s my life story. Now let me sing you a couple numbers.”
“I will probably get fired for this, but why not? This is way better than talking to an actual client.”
- *Heavy breathing* “What’s your name, baby?”
“Oh my gosh, gag me. This is not that kind of 1-800 number. Please never call here again… I don’t get paid enough for this.”
I thought working in a call centre would be annoying at best. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Get to sit in a desk all day, don’t have to see any customer’s faces, and you can hit the mute button and laugh at them without them knowing. Not to mention, unlike a lot of the lower pay scale jobs out there, there actually was opportunity for advancement. But it was brutal.
Customer service is one of the most difficult lines of work to be in. People can be downright awful and when you’re assigned to deal with it, you suddenly become less of a human to the rest of the world. For those of us that have been there, we know the struggle. If you’re still there, just know that there are good people who feel for you. You rock and don’t let people get you down. You’re the bravest of us all.
Featured Image via Screengrab of Friends.