Why You Only Like The Idea Of A Boyfriend, Until You Get One

Fade into the scene: Girl tells cute story about boyfriend. Other girls gasp in unison. One of them moans, “I want a boyfriend!” and the rest are all thinking the same thing.

If the above scenario is not sounding familiar, you either a) have a dick and are therefore not privy to slumber parties, or b) live under a rock in a vault two feet away from the center of Earth and have never had human contact. Because the above scenario happens all the f*cking time.

It’s not only during late night confession time, either. Thousands of girls are running around thinking that they want a boyfriend the moment that they see someone with a penis do something moderately nice for a member of the opposite sex. But guess what! In all likelihood, you little moaning Myrtle, you do not in fact want a boyfriend. And it is time that you realize it.

Hearing those cute couples stories and watching Lucas Scott give epic storm speeches to Brooke Davis isn’t letting you in on the glory of a relationship, it is just showing you the highlight reel. How many times has that same friend with the roses or the adorable anecdote complained about her guy’s seemingly irrepressible f*ckboy nature? And remember, Lucas broke Brooke’s heart…twice. A real relationship comes with it’s share of stakes, which get all the higher as time goes on. When you are saying that you want a boyfriend, you may as well be saying that you want the boyfriend…a personally modeled prime time television mashup of epic scenes, sweet stories, and phenomenal bone structure.


I mean, the guy is great in theory. But chances are that he doesn’t exist, and at this time in your life – when committing to a drunk pizza order is hard enough – let alone a be-all, end-all relationship, would you really want him to?

So, what do you want?


Probably a great friend, or a bunch of them. The one who is always available for a dinner date or a cuddle sesh doesn’t have to be your significant other. They tie your shoes, hold your hair back when it’s vomit and buy you birthday presents, all without expecting a blow job at the end of the night. You probably want passion too, but you can find that in a sport or another kind of hobby. Maybe you want a bunch of rom-com’s to hold your romantic side over, and for everything else there is ice cream.

I’m not saying that there is no guy out there for you and you will never want/need/have a boyfriend. I’m saying that it is so easy to get caught up in the good and lust for something that may carry 45% bad. Your version of the boyfriend is out there, and his flaws are what will make you love him all the more. If he is in your life now, maybe this all doesn’t apply to you and you are ready to take a hand-holding skip down the relationship aisle…but if he is not, don’t worry, and stop searching for something mediocre in the mean time.

Featured Image via Twitter



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