Friends with benefits: the dreaded term that defines a complicated relationship as being good enough to f*ck, but not good enough to invest feelings into.
This totally works for some people, and that’s a-ok. However, I’ve compiled the main reasons why hopeless romantics, for the sake of our fragile little hearts, should steer clear of this seemingly desirable connection.
1. You may not be the only one.
You feel as if you owe it to your bed-buddy to exclusively keep your benefits to your beds, and your beds only. And you do. You don’t even have the desire to sleep with anyone else. You may even feel like there’s some sort of unspoken commitment agreement between the two of you. However, while you’re falling for your hookup buddy, you could very well be passionately filling the already prominent body indentations left by other girls…just. like. you. Unfortunately, I’ve seen it happen more times than I’d like to admit.
2. You’re not “just friends,” and probably never will be.
“This is my friend, *insert FWB’s name here*” …friend? Apparently, it seems like regularly sharing sheets and intimate encounters is something “friends” do nowadays. But they’ve seen sides (parts) of you they can’t unsee. And you can hold that over their heads for as long as your little heart desires.
3. You become addicted to someone who’s probably not addicted to you.
You get those awkward realizations that the person you wake up next to really means something in your daily life. It’s a routine, in a way. And we don’t like change. Mornings just don’t feel right without an indecisive soul snoring next to you.
4. You get a false sense of security, and everyone can see it.
We like the idea that someone is always there for us. We long for those late night cuddle sessions and closeness that not even the “boyfriend” pillow can provide us. It’s okay. You’re not alone. You don’t need a FWB; you have a stuffed arm and half-torso that you sprayed with your brother’s cologne while he wasn’t looking to keep you warm at night and fill that void you think you’re missing.
5. It’s all fun and games until your heart gets broken.
“We’re just having fun,” they say. “Why do we need to label it?” The definition of fun I guess highlights the excitement of constantly placing yourself in situations that lead to the pseudo-denial of romantic feelings. Don’t try to hide it, everyone knows it exists mutually between the two of you. We must secretly get pleasure out of emotional deterioration.
Moral of the story? Neither of you get the “benefits” of friends with benefits. You both hide feelings to keep things from getting complicated.
News flash – it’s probably more complicated to suppress the feelings you know you have for the person you’re currently desensitizing than it is to simply enjoy life with someone other than yourself. But, at the end of the day, you shared something with each other. There’s something to be said for all that time you mutually invested in your “relationship,” and you had fun. But for all you faint-of-heart lovers out there, just protect your feelings. The hookup culture is not for the hopeless romantic.