As this semester comes to a close, there’s a lot of things I’ve come to love about college, and a lot of things… not so much. Whether it’s that girl in class that won’t stop chomping her gum or the sound of the garbage truck outside your window at 5 am, finals week has everyone in high tensions. What better way to cope with these annoyances than to compile a list?
- Slow walkers.
When you’re crammed up against the side of a building and need to get to the dining hall before it closes in exactly one minute, that person going the pace of a turtle isn’t going to cut it. Especially when you just had the longest day of your life and Easy Mac will not suffice today.
- Loud talkers in the library.
If you and your friend are going to bring your Chipotle, keep your laptops shut and loudly gossip about the last episode of the Bachelor, please, just stay in Chipotle. The tables in there were made for a reason. We’re all trying to finish our readings and get through writing our 30-page papers and can’t focus as is. You’re not welcome here.
- The hand dryers in every campus bathroom.
Those things are ruthless. They don’t care if you’re 5 minutes late to your final exam or if it’s less than 0 degrees outside. And no matter how long you dry your hands, they’re never really going to feel dry. The judgmental girl primping her hair certainly doesn’t appreciate you fleeing out of the restroom having not washed your hands. Even if you actually have your own portable hand sanitizer, you’re going to be judged. Give me paper towels or give me death.
- The people blasting music from their headphones.
As I much as I would love to listen to “All Night Longer” on repeat, I don’t think the rest of the library does. Neither does your roommate when you’re trying to fall asleep—what’s the point of putting headphones in if its loud enough for everyone close to you? Have fun damaging your hearing, too.
- The kid that asks questions minutes before class is going to end.
If the class was scheduled to end two minutes ago, it’s safe to assume that when the professor asked “any questions?” it was spoken rhetorically. It’s even worse when the kid doesn’t even ask a question and just rambles about his or her opinion on the sociological theories we learned in class that day. News flash: we should have left five minutes ago, and we nobody cares! Free us!
- Slow WiFi.
I have five minutes to e-mail this paper to my professor and the campus computer is stuck on the spinning wheel of death. Excuse me while I have a literal anxiety attack/meltdown until this WiFi gets its act together. I might as well start typing papers on my phone. That data is far more reliable than campus WiFi.
- People that take up all the seats in the laundry room.
There are a total of three chairs in this laundry room, all connected like a bench. If you sit in the middle one and plop your backpack down next to you while the other 8 people in here and subject to sit in the floor, you sir, are getting a death wish from me. The sweltering hot laundry room and the fact that we have to stay in it for up to an hour and a half is bad enough as is—just open up a seat for me.
While we love our college years and (almost) everything that comes with it, going home for the holidays will be a nice break from the laundry room nightmares and snail-paced wifi. At least until we’re ready to party again.