Can’t Be Tamed: The Sexist Dark Side Of Social Media

College is a glorious time in any young person’s life. Let’s be real, the parties are wild, the classes are challenging, and the friendships and relationships are permanent. We are shaping ourselves to be the adults the child-version of us never thought we would grow up to be. It’s fabulous, it’s scary, and it’s happening right now.

Now let’s take a hot second to think about a statistical fact. People with a college education are plain and simple more open minded. Our minds are opened to unlimited possibilities as we spend countless hours being able to decipher the complex situations around us. So why is it that I, as a young woman, am I terrified to walk to a party by myself? Why do I have to use the buddy system to walk to my car? Why am I not even safe when I’m at home on my couch?

The thing is that despite our so-called enhanced acceptance, as a woman, I still do not feel equal. If a guy comments on my picture and compliments my body (whether I know him or not), I am supposed to be flattered. I am almost expected to fall into his arms. When I don’t know him and am creeped out when he does this on all of my pictures, I’m in the wrong. People will wonder why I can’t just take a compliment when I’m handed one. When a guy messages me and demands that I go on a date with him, I’m just supposed to say yes, and if I don’t, I deserve the rage induced outbursts. Does no one else see a problem with this?

This is what I love about the Instagram account ByeFelipe. It brings to light what so many women go through on a daily basis. Each picture is a screenshot of a message or text they have received followed by the outburst when the woman admitted she didn’t want to date or talk to him any longer. These images are, quite frankly, terrifying because they are the real deal!

One person point blank asked a woman what her bra size was, and when she told him to stop asking, he replied, “F*ck you, flat chested b*tch.” When did this start being okay? Why do people feel entitled to know intimate parts of another person’s body when they don’t even know them. I know you all have Instagram accounts and if you haven’t seen ByeFelipe yet, you need to look at this right now. Nothing highlights such social media bullying quite like this.

Tinder is another absolutely dreadful invention…yet with seemingly good intentions. A free dating app aimed at college students that made dating extremely yes or no. If you both swiped yes, you’re a match! From then on, you can message that person and see where it goes. Say you both swipe yes and after a bit of conversation, you find out that guy or girl is a total creep. See how this can get ugly fast? My question is why do things get so ugly when things would never work out? If there is genuinely no connection, that person was really doing you a favor by ending things before it escalated. Unfortunately, this is just another scenario where name calling will certainly be prevalent if you reject the guys offer.

God forbid you have your read receipts on your iPhone on. If you don’t answer in ten minutes, there is sure to be a freak out. The sad thing  is that it’s absolutely expected to happen. Listen to any group of girls talking. You are bound to hear one of them say, “I shouldn’t have read that so soon. I’m going to hear about that later…”

For whatever reason, a woman asking for her space is frowned upon. How dare I have something to do other than wait for your beck and call all day long. How dare I have a life, a job, a college education to attend to outside of a man. How dare I have dinner with my parents and don’t want to be rude and text at the table. Trust me, I get it. I’m totally in the wrong here.

If we ever want things to change, we need to change our perspectives. Social media and texting doesn’t equate to instant gratification. Surely, it allows for quicker and more efficient conversation. It doesn’t, however, eliminate the other person’s obligations. From what I’m seeing, social media has turned us all into socially awkward children. It’s time to grow up and have a little dignity.

Featured image via Elijah O’Donnell on Pexels


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