That awkward moment when you’ve been standing outside the bar being carded for 5 minutes because the bouncer doesn’t believe the ID is real…while all your friends are waiting at the door for you. Should I smile? Will that make it more awkward…or will it make him suspicious? Should I tell him to ask me anything…Fuck. I’ll just stand here and wait…Oh look, it’s been 8 minutes now.
We all age, it’s a natural process of life, however, if people look at you like they expect you to ask your ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy’ to go watch the Disney channel…then the struggle is real.
Let’s be honest here, having a baby face is rather exhausting, it’s hard to expect people to treat you like an adult when you have the face of a tween.
1. People just simply don’t believe you when you tell them your real age. Yeah, it’s crazy that every year you see me I get one year older. It’s absolutely crazy how birthdays work, grandpa.
2. Being constantly called adorable instead of hot. No! Tell me I look hot or sexy…take your cute, adorable, sweet, precious bullshit and get out of here. It doesn’t matter how sweaty you get at the gym or how much makeup you wear, people will still think that you snuck up to the gym from the kids playroom and that you’re just playing dress up with your mom’s makeup.
3. You dread the day when you will become pregnant, because most likely people will think you are auditioning to be a part of Teen Mom 6. Just. No.
4. Being asked which school you go to instead of which university you attend. We really enjoy the shocked faces and responses, because you definitely don’t expect me to say I’m about to graduate college. Yet, you still think we’re totes joking…but we’re not.
5. Having to get ready no matter where we’re going, because no makeup on makes us look even younger. Oh god. And if we’re with our parents with no makeup on, that is a fun ass time. We love when you look at us when we separate from them for a second, as if you’re ready to say, “Sweetie, are you lost?”
6. You get ID’d every single time you buy alcohol. I understand it is part of your job to ID, but staring at my ID and then back at me a million times is really great. Please keep it coming. Also, I’ll be back next weekend.
7. Having to wait while everyone uses math for a hot second after you make a dated 90s movie reference. “Wait, you were around for that movie?” Yes douchenozzle…Spoiler alert: I also know the entire rap of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
8. Downing boozes at family functions and being watched by your relatives with judging eyes. Just because you’re watching us, it’s not enough to get us to stop. So please, pass us the bottle and judge all you want.
9. Blending in with the freshman on campus. For this reason, I refuse to wear any college apparel that would convince you even more that I’m fresh bait. I also memorize the classrooms my classes are in before the start of the semesters so I will never be caught looking at my class schedule on campus.
10. You have to talk people into taking you seriously. Though we understand we look like a bunch of 12-year-olds, we are adults, and old enough to be treated like one. So please, help us out and stop making a big deal about it.
While this issue may never come to an end, and as annoying as it is, there is nothing you can do about it but just laugh it off and own it. Also, enjoy paying less than the rest of your friends while you buy the children’s ticket for everything.
Featured image via Taylor Hernandez on Unsplash
