You Can’t Even: Why You Should Stop Complaining Now

We all do it. Whether it’s our hair, our weight, schoolwork, the weather, or how the girl at Starbucks made a horrible iced coffee. We complain. And complain. And complain some more. Conversations are becoming more just mutual complaining, rather than an actual conversation.

We complain about things that when it comes down to it: we can’t actually do anything about them. How we still have that little pouch of fat on our stomach that we just can’t ever seem to get toned. We complain how we wish we had just the right size of boobs or butt or had slimmer thighs to achieve the gold medal of bodies: the thigh gap (which is completely ridiculous since Beyoncé doesn’t have one). Your body is your body. No matter how many times you say, “I just wish I had a nicer butt,” the butt gods will not come down from butt heaven and give you that J-Lo donk you’ve been praying for.

Complaining about things other people do is just the same. People are going to piss you off. They’re going to do things that might make your life a little more difficult at times, but going to your BFF/Twitter/Facebook and complaining isn’t going to make the problem or person go away. Sometimes I wish Twitter had that capability, but it doesn’t.

I think we almost say complaints out loud so we get recognition from our peers supporting us with “yes, you’re right, it does suck” and “we complain about it too”. We put all our complaints on social media thinking it makes it more acceptable since everyone else is doing it. We put it out there so we get praise in the form of favorites, retweets, and likes. This gives us permission to keep on complaining. It’s all part of the “wanting to be part of something” complex. It’s what our generation thrives on. We want to be recognized as being right.

And it even comes down to being right about complaining about something. We have FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) of complaining. We want to know we aren’t the only ones who hate certain things and that it’s okay to complain about it. We need this affirmation that what we’re doing is something everyone else is doing. If we see everyone else complaining about the weather, we take our thumbs to the nearest social media and have at it, stating “we can’t even” with what’s happening outside.

Sidenote: What does this “can’t even” statement even mean? It’s a sentence fragment with no object. You can’t even what?!

Now I’m not saying I never complain, obviously if the barista at Starbucks puts two pumps of hazelnut instead of one pump vanilla and one pump hazelnut, I’m going to say something about it to someone or something, most likely Twitter. But it just shows how useless complaining is and how much it consumes our minds and everyday talk. If I’m really upset about my drink, I should just ask for another one or just go with it and try something new, not tell someone else who has no power over my drink.

So what I’m trying to say is: stop complaining. Stop wasting your breath on useless words and sentences that aren’t going to move you forward in life. If anything, complaining is just going make you dwell even more on things you can’t change. We need to start being constructive with our conversations. Start sharing things that have meaning or contribute something useful on social media. Show people things that will make them think. Speak of the future or of lessons learned. Be happy where you are and know you have the power to change your attitude towards what life has thrown at you. Let go of the negative, rut digging routine of complaining and take a breath of fresh air in contentment. Go ahead; lift off the weight of dissatisfaction.

That got really deep, but what I’m trying to get at is stop clogging my timeline or newsfeed with depressing, redundant, and “I’m literally dying” complaints. Your life is not ending and no one really cares that much to spare you a favorite.

Featured image by Greg Westfall via Flickr 


  1. That is so f#!@ing true. It felt like you just hit me over the head and chomped on it. I really should stop talking useless and heed thy advice. Thanks for this btw. Really.


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